perfectly imperfect ;

tw ;; suicide, hate etc. please read the a/n at the bottom when you are finished with the story !!

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coffee in hand, the girl sighed angrily. her group had to get big, it just had to. plastic glasses littered her room as she furiously drank away, jealousy was taking over her as she saw other groups from her own company getting bigger - but she wasn't getting to debut. she knew it wasn't fair to blame her labelmates, but it felt so unfair. she was just like them. she could sing, she could dance, she could rap. why couldn't she debut? she was an all-rounder, her group members were talented too. then, why was she left in the dust? "i'm a failure," she thought as she went to sleep.

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"1,2,3 eclipse. hello, we are midnight!" said the leader haneul. they'd finally debuted. a dark elegant concept. no scandals. an amazing debut that had made it to top 10 in the korean charts and top 5 internationally. they'd made it.

there were 4 other girls with her, her best friends, people she considered her family.

choi haneul - the leader, lead dancer, main rapper.

kwon chaewon - lead rapper, main vocalist, sub-vocalist.

park jisu - lead vocalist, sub-rapper.

kim areum - visual, sub-vocalist, center, lead dancer

and finally her. hwa sooyoung - lead vocalist, main dancer, sub-rapper, face of the group and visual.

she was immediately the most popular member, midnight didn't have that much content out, it had just been a couple weeks, but sooyoung's personality had attracted people. people rambled about how she was fun, outgoing, smart, witty, savage, cute, respectful, beautiful, down-to-earth and talented at the same time. people were impressed by the group. they called midnight talented. they called midnight pretty. they called midnight kind. they liked midnight and they'd made it.

Their dark concept was alluring and stunning, flowers, beaded necklaces, gorgeous ornaments, it was made to be a drug - to make people want more of them. and it certainly worked, they were monster rookies. they had hit it off to a great start, their one, only and first music video had broken the internet. "i'm not a failure," sooyoung said to herself.

people would follow midnight wherever they went - and to most people, having no privacy would be bothersome. irritating. a little scary even. but to midnight, it was proof - proof that they'd made it. proof that they'd debuted and that they had fans. they were happy that people recognized us, or when people asked them for autographs/ overall, they were happy. they were finally happy and they'd be happy forever because they'd debuted and were living our dream. or so sooyoung thought...

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"1,2,3 eclipse. hello, we are midnight!" haneul exclaimed. it was their 4th anniversary, 4 years together. it had been amazing, midnight had been met with so much success and popularity. of course with that came hate, but all of midnight had learnt how to deal with it. the rest of the members knew not to check social media as soon as they debuted. sooyoung learnt it the hard way.

being an idol is everyone's dream but it was certainly not easy, in fact, it was horrible at times. her health would deteriorate due to the tough schedules, her mental health would be in shambles due to the hate comments. and while her company and members had warned her to avoid social media and reading comments in general - it was hard. it was so difficult to not take one small peek at what others thought of her. it's easy to say, "oh, block all your social media," when someone gets cyberbullied but that's not how the human mind works. we seek validation, we seek attention at times, we desperately want to be seen as perfect in the eyes of others and sooyoung was not any different. she might be a public figure or an idol but she still wanted to be seen as perfect. she wanted to be viewed when she was her best self.