Stand Still

1. Dear Diary

AUTHORS NOTE(s) : [check description]

Dear Diary,

This is new. I've never owned a diary before. It would be stupid to write about my day in a book that is easily accessible to anyone. I don't want to go to jail. I have to keep a low profile. But it doesn't matter now. I have it all planned. I have someone to burn this book before or when I die, so my cover isn't blown. I swear on it.

I'll confess everything in this book for the sake of getting it all out. There is a lot to get out. A lot of information that is bottled up in my mind. Once it's written, I can forget it.

My name is Leila. I'm seventeen. This is the first time my pillow hasn't been my only aid of emotional support. I'm only having a laugh, I don't cry. "Tough girl" image, you know?

I strongly detested the idea of a diary Mum thinks it'll "do me good". I sniggered when she said that. She knows my history of crime. She doesn't know them but she knows have secrets. However, she was serious.

She's been weird this week. Tommorow marks 1 year since Dad was murdered. She loved him dearly. We still haven't found out who did it. The culprit was a smart criminal. Maybe even as smart a criminal as me. They covered any and every trace back to them. To this day they remain wanted and unfound.

Dad was not nearly as rich as Mum is now but he had enough to live off and support his family. He was a veterinarian. Loved animals and nature. He even had a pet parrot for a few years but it flew away when the birdcage and the window were inconveniently left open.

And that's pretty much all I know about him.

I know it sounds cruel but I don't miss him. I feel terrible admitting so, especially when he hadn't done anything to me or anyone else. I just didn't know him.

Being the dumb little teenage brat I was, I turned down every time he asked to spend time with me because I wanted to stay with my stupid, toxic friends and hanging out with your parents at 14 years old was "uncool". I lived in a flat in Leeds with a friend, about an hour away from my house, in college, so we rarely saw each other then. I could tell he was proud of me, being a doctor and all. Too bad I dropped out.

I was around him more as a younger child but I have little memory of that time. He tried his best, but I still can't feel sad that he's gone; you can't feel loss for someone you never knew.

As for Mum, I know her too much for my liking. I don't like Mum and I don't feel bad for admitting it; she doesn't like me either. She's only ever cared about how random strangers perceive her, her looks and her money.

She's a model and, to be honest, she definitely has the looks for it. She is breathtakingly beautiful, like an actress from the 50's. She has blond wavy hair, a slim curvy body and a sharp jawline. Often she wears bold red lipstick and vintage dresses.

She has a boyfriend, Mark. The age gap isn't so bad, she's 2 years older. He's kind of stupid. Not mean or anything, just dumb. Once he called me "Lana". He'd known me for 4 months. Lana. Seriously?

He is 32 and owns a manufacturing company. He moved in 2 months ago. Him and Mum have been dating for 5 months. I do think they are moving fast, but who am I to judge?

Back to me. I'm good looking, I think. I have my mum's body, my dad's dark brown hair and deep green eyes. Good enough to have a heartstopping boyfriend. His name is Adee, short for Adelard. He's beautiful, basically the male equivalent of Angelina Jolie.

He is staying over tonight. Currently he's lying in bed fast asleep right next to me. I'm so grateful he doesn't snore.
I might as well rest too, now. I have much to tell.

- Leila Villin 14/10/21

[third person]

Leila shoves the tiny, navy blue diary into her bedside drawer and turns over to Adee. She gazes at him for a few seconds, studying everything from the way his hair framed his face to his sharp jaw. He's so oblivious to it all. She looks at the time, sighs and fidgets with her hair.

A thought creeps into her mind.

"You're watching him sleep that's kind of creepy."

She blushes and closes her eyes trying to drift off into deep sleep, ignoring the loud cars outside.

Then sirens. Police Sirens.