𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐈'𝐌 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆, Coco x Reader Oneshots (Completed)

╰┈➤ 𝗲𝗰𝗰𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗮𝘀𝘁

Tears.

I don't even realise when tears fall from my eyes. It's such a usual experience for me now.

The small walk gets finished as I reach my destination. The high cliff from which the view of the entire city is visible. But I'm not here to enjoy the view.

I'm here to end myself.

One jump; one leap of faith is all I need, before I wake up again in a new life.

A better life; a happy life.

I suck in some air, the wind becoming more harsher. The trees begin to shed their leaves and they begin to pool on the ground, creating small green mountains. I walk closer to edge of the cliff.

One jump. That's it.

I close my eyes and lift my arms to my sides. I feel my body beginning to lean forward. My eyes shut close tightly and I feel myself travelling down against the strong wind.

And just like that, my body thuds to the ground.

❄︎

The blinding lights pierce my eyes as I struggle to open them. I finally succeed in opening my eyes against my will, the light shining brightly. A few seconds later my eyes get used to the light and I move my head to look around my surroundings.

Seeing the bed I'm sitting in and the equipment around me, I am quick to realise I'm in a hospital room. But there are no doctors or nurses; just a blonde haired girl sitting in a chair next to my bed. Her elbows are resting on her thighs and her face is buried in her hands.

My eyes go down to notice I'm wearing an all white gown and a wire is connected to the top of my hand. I feel an oxygen mask on my face. My arms are covered with cuts and bruises and so are my legs. I try sitting up in the bed, but I guess I make a lot of noise; because I attract attention from the blonde girl. She rushes to me and places one hand on my shoulder and other on my back and helps me to sit up. Then she runs out of the room and comes back two seconds later with a doctor and two nurses. The doctor removes the oxygen mask from my face and sets it on the table next to me.

"How are you feeling?" He asks.

"I'm fine, I guess." I speak.

No I'm not.

I wanted to die. Why am I alive?

"Will you like some food?" He poses another question. I nod my head, feeling a small rumble in my stomach. He gestures one of the nurses to get me some food and he and the other nurse also leave, leaving me and the unknown girl alone. I hear her inhale deeply and then exhale.

"Why am I alive?" I speak sharply, cutting the silence around us. She looks up at me, her eyes slightly wide. "And who are you?"

"I'm Coco," she begins, "and I found your bleeding body on the road. I called the ambulance for you and you were immediately taken to the emergency room."

"You know why I was on the ground? I wanted to kill myself. But no, you had to come and save me. It wasn't required." I snap.

"Why would you wanna kill yourself? There are plenty of things to live for." She says softly.

"Like what?" 

"Like uhm..." She snaps her fingers thrice and then gasps lightly, a slight smile on her face and a glowing light in her eyes,  "going to late night drives, eating warm, toasty marshmallows with chocolate on them, travelling to every country in the world, eating all your favorite foods, drinking all your favorite drinks, dancing like a madman to your favorite music- "

"What about my growing anxiety and depression? What about not finding any purpose to live? What about my burning passion to restart life?"

The smile on her face fades away and I sink into my position in the bed, staring at the ceiling. The ticking of a clock becomes audible to me, which I hadn't noticed before. I feel the light being blocked on my side, and when I turn my head I see Coco standing at the edge of the bed, looking at me. She raises her eyebrows and brings them back down in a second, motioning me to make space for her. I scoot over and she sits down next to me.

"Tell me, why did you jump off the cliff?" She asks.

"I'd rather not."

"Why not?"

"Because everytime I've let a person closer to me, I've attached way too much to them and when they realise they have to deal with a huge mess, also known as me, they leave. They just simply walk out of my life, as if they hadn't even entered before."

"Look at me," she says but I keep on looking at the ceiling. "Look at me, please." She says again, but not harshly. Her voice is soft. I turn my head slightly and my eyes instantly sink into hers. They have this sadness in them, along with a glimmer to help.

"Do I look like someone who will leave you?" She asks.

No she doesn't.

But that's exactly how everyone else looked in the beginning.

I don't say anything, I break our eye contact and continue gazing at the ceiling. My brain begins to bring up memories, the cuts I endured, the times I felt sad and lonely, when someone called me a 'broken mess' and left me, when I decided to keep to myself...

Before I can even realise, Coco's arms are around me and I am sobbing continuously in her black t-shirt. My body shakes violently and Coco's hands move up and down my back to soothe me. It takes a few minutes for me to calm down. Coco hands me a glass of water, which I hold in my shaky hands and drink from it.

After I gulp down all of the water in the glass, I turn to look at her again. The intense eye contact we had before gets created yet again.

"Tell me, do I still look like a person who will leave you?" She asks again. I softly shake my head. "Then open up to me; let me in. No hurry, whenever you want."

❄︎

That day I met someone new, someone who didn't leave me like all the others. She is what I needed all my life and I'm glad I found someone like her. I've been quite happy these past months and it is all because of her.

Thank you for existing on this planet Coco.

I love you with my whole heart.

Author's Note

I hope you liked this one!

Don't doubt yourself, you are perfect, you matter, you're loved <3 We are all here for you!

Don't forget to vote and comment (:

With love through health and sickness
Keziah