The Empath Alchemist {Edward Elric X Reader}

37

I love you.

Could she hear it? The way the words jumbled up against his clenched teeth like a wave crashing against a dam? Could she understand it just by the way he gazed at her like he would never, ever gaze at anyone else? Could she feel it in the way his lips touched hers shyly, as if he hadn't pulled her into him with dominant fervor in order to feel her mouth on his the first time they shared a kiss?

He wanted her to hear it, to understand it, to feel it. Even if they'd agreed to wait, he wanted her to know so badly. She deserved to know, especially now. Edward had told her that he didn't want a day to go by where she thought that she wasn't loved. And that was true. She needed to know that she was loved, not just by himself, but by his brother, and Havoc. By Winry and Granny, by Riza- by the entire Mustang Unit, and above all, by Roy. They all loved her, truly they did, and how could they not have? (Y/n) was the kind of girl you stood in front of a train for with a big stupid smile on your face, because you'd know that you would be risking your life for someone worth it and more.

Oh, how she was loved. Edward didn't want her to think that she wasn't, and telling her that she was after she'd second guessed her own guardian's devotion to her seemed to be like something she needed.

But Edward still couldn't do it.

He'd mastered all the elements of Alchemy and science, trained restlessly, grieved the loss of his mother, raised Al on his own, committed the Ultimate Taboo at eleven, fought with the guilt of losing his brother's body, endured the excruciatingly taxing and painful process of rehabilitation, joined the military, apprehended more criminals than he could count, battled Homunculi, saved lives, become a town hero, and more. And yet, he could not do something as simple as speak three words to the person who deserved to hear them the most.

Edward closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, chastising himself internally as to not wake the unconscious girl before him with his own disappointment in himself. He'd done so much to be proud of, truthfully, and he was only fifteen years of age, to be sixteen in four months. He'd fought, endured, and pushed on through pain that kept him awake at night. He'd survived and protected with the power of his own hands and mind. He was a strong kid, deep down he knew that. Hell, he used to gloat about it to anyone who'd dare to underestimate him. But that all seemed irrelevant now if he couldn't tell a single girl how he felt about her.

Emotions had always been the one thing that stood in the way of Edward's true potential. Not the kind that revolved around his grief, or his family, or his anger and guilt- no. That's not what he had trouble with. It was the part of his emotions that made him vulnerable to the touch of his best friend. The part of his emotions that unlocked his sensitivity, the part of his emotions that he'd ridiculed for so long, having strongly believed that he would never be a victim to it. God, when did his world begin to revolve around her? He didn't know, but he knew that his feelings were strong enough for his heart to have a mini seizure every time he was within three feet of her space.

He needed to check in with Alphonse. He knew that. There was just something about (Y/n) that glued him to her bed, beside her, where he wanted to be until the day that he died.

She deserved to be loved. He wasn't sure if it was necessarily him she deserved to be loved by, but she deserved every inkling of admiration he held toward her and more, nothing less.

The blonde had watched as she dozed off, her eyelids fluttering and her eyes practically rolling into the back of her head as she tried to stay awake. The boy had smiled, for it was so like her to fight off sleep when she desperately needed it. (Y/n) had been sleeping for at least thirty minutes, and Edward had even taken the liberty of switching off her light so that she could sleep uninterrupted. He couldn't do anything about the fact that she fell asleep on-top of the drawn comforter in case she got cold, but she looked comfortable enough in her dream induced state for him not to worry about it too much.