Forbidden Desire

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

"Umalis ka nga sabi dito, e! Bobo ka ba?!" I heard Nicole's voice. "Kahit pa lumuha ka ng dugo, hinding-hindi ka mapapatawad ng kaibigan namin."

"It's better for you to go out, Mr. Scott, before she wakes up. For sure magwawala siya kapag nakita ka. Please lang," Jona said.

I didn't open my eyes. Nanatili akong nakapikit habang nakikinig sa kanila. I also don't want to see him. Naninikip ang dibdib ko kapag nakikita siya.

Memories kept flashing inside my head, and I know any moment I might sob.

"I want to talk to her," paos nitong sagot.

"Gamutin mo muna ang noo mo bago ka namin hahayaang makausap siya," anas ni Kiara.

Hindi niya ginamot ang sugat niya?

"T-this will be quick. Ayoko rin naman siyang magising na nandito pa ako," he said.

Tumahimik naman sila. Sunod kong narinig ang mga yabag ng kanilang lakad paalis. Maybe they agreed that I secretly wished they didn't.

Ramdam ko na may humawak sa kamay ko at ang pagdampi ng malambot na bagay sa likod ng palad ko. I heard him sniffed.

"I'm sorry..." he said. "If sorry if it took me eight years for me to confess."

I remained acting asleep. May parte sa 'kin ang gustong makinig sa sasabihin niya.

"Kailangan kong gawin 'yun para sa kapakanan mo. I'm sorry for manipulating your life. Your dad was the one who told me to stay away from you since you've forgotten all about me. Sobrang sakit para sa 'kin nu'n, mahal. I'm just watching you from afar and being so happy like I didn't exist in your life, while I'm suffering every night because I badly want to see you."

Did he just call me mahal?

"Alam kong hindi mo naririnig 'to ngunit sasabihin ko pa rin ang rason ko. Kasi alam kong pagkagising mo, itataboy mo na ako. Hindi mo papakinggan ang sasabihin ko kaya't heto ako, nagsasalita sa taong tulog." His voice cracked. "I just want to protect you from your mom. Your mother was suffering an illness that she doesn't want to admit she have. I didn't agree to this plan, baby. But when Tito died, sino na lang ang poprotekta sa 'yo sa tuwing gusto kang patayin ng Mommy mo? That's why I agreed to Ferrell's decision to fool your mom."

Naramdaman ko ang muling paghalik nito sa likod ng palad ko. "I'm sorry for fooling you. But, baby, I didn't cheat. I can't cheat on you. M-masyado kitang mahal para magloko ako sa 'yo. But I need to take part of my duty as one of the members of Pericolosi. Our target was your mom."

Si mommy? Anong Pericolosi? Kating-kati na 'kong idilat ang mga mata ko ngunit nagpipigil ako. I want to hear futher kahit na natatakot ako.

"I can just easily hire someone to kill your mom, baby. But someone's stopping me and even threatened your life." He sniffed. "I have tons of money, Kitty. Damn, kaya kitang ilayo rito at kalimutan ang misyon ko."

Nanatili itong tahimik. His lips is still touching the back of my palm and I heard his small sobs.

"It was all my fault, fuck." Naramdaman ko na parang namamasa ang kamay ko. Is he crying? "K-kung sana naabutan kita at nagpaliwanag, siguro buhay pa ang anak natin. Sana buhay pa si Lassie. K-kung sana hindi ako pumayag sa desisyon ni Tito na lumayo, sana hindi nasayang ang walong taong nagkalayo tayo.

"Every night I was hurting myself. That's for eight years. Gabi-gabi kong sinasaktan ang sarili ko dahil deserve ko lahat ng 'yun. I even asked Lucifer to beat me til death because of what happened." I felt his thumb touching cheeks. "I was so damn happy when we took a step on Samar. After three years, finally we came back from where we started. I can't explain my happiness that time. I can finally hug you, kiss you, and do things I badly want to do with you without fear that your mom might caught us and kill you on your sleep."