A Wall Between

Chapter 25

"It's my fault, though."

"It only happened because you were too busy worrying about me to remember your keys," Cooper told him. "Besides, I forget shit all the time. Nobody who I consider a friend punishes me for it. Hell, you took me in last time I shut myself out."

"Mm," Sasha tugged the jacket back down, uncovering his face, but he squeezed his arms tight around his chest. "You all don't mind?"

"I actually think it sounds nice," Abra said.

"He's a cuddler," Ellie told Sasha with a smile.

"And you know I always want you around," Cooper told him.

"Okay," Sasha said. "I guess I'll be okay and I don't want the landlord people to have to come out at night if they're busy."

"All right," Cooper said, offering Sasha a gentle smile. "You want to go inside? I'll finish up talking to the guy and find out what time he can get here tomorrow and everything."

Sasha nodded and pulled himself up off the ground. He hugged the jacket around his chest again as he followed Ellie and Abra into the apartment. He liked how big it was on him. It made him feel safer. Or maybe that was just because it was Cooper's.

"Sorry," Sasha murmured as he looked at how small the space on the floor between the bed and the kitchen area was. Even for one person, it wasn't a lot of room. Two would only just barely fit.

"It's no problem, really," Abra said.

"I just wanted to help Cooper, but..." Sasha shrugged.

"And you very much did, and now it's your turn to be helped," Ellie told him. "That's what friends do."

Sasha sat down on the edge of the bed. Were they friends? It would probably be rude to ask that question, but he felt like he still hardly knew Ellie and Abra. But maybe friendship had transitive properties. They were friends with Cooper and so was he, so he was sort of their friend as well. Maybe. Or maybe they were just kind people.

"Okay, he'll be around at about eight tomorrow morning to let you in," Cooper said as he joined them in the apartment. "Is there anything we can do to make you feel better?"

Sasha shook his head, his eyes on his shoes as he undid the laces. "No. You've all been really nice. Thank you."

"We could turn the lights off and put a movie on," Ellie suggested. "Would that help to give you a bit of a break from the social stuff?"

Sasha nodded. These people were very kind. Too kind, maybe. He felt like he was accruing a kind of social debt and it would be one he couldn't repay. Like one day they would come and ask him to drive them to the airport and he would have to be like, I do not own a car and also I cannot drive. Or something. Honestly, he wasn't even sure what kinds of social things one person might ask of another, but most people seemed to spend so much of their time around other people that there was probably some stuff. Stuff he was most likely not equipped to help with in one way or another.

But right now, watching a movie in the darkness was the best thing for everyone if only because they probably didn't want to see him cry. He sure would rather things not come to that, if at all possible.

Ellie and Abra got out the futon and sat down together on the floor, backs leant against the bed. That left the bed for Sasha and Cooper. Sasha lay down and Cooper lay behind him, propped up slightly so that he could see over the top of Sasha's head as they picked a movie.

They ended up watching some Pixar movie. Sasha was too overwhelmed and distracted to figure out what it was or what was going on, but it was strangely comforting. He shut his eyes, the heat of Cooper's body at his back, and just listened to the movie.