Muse [18+] • REVISING

37 | Flux

"You're here now, and that's all that matters to me." I pressed my forehead down into hers, feeling my eyes water the same as hers.

Don't make the same mistakes we did.

Those words find their way to me during such uncanny timing, almost like my mother was watching from wherever she is, telling me to stop waiting for things to be one-hundred because realistically they never would be. I needed to be okay with the possibility that even if what I had planned didn't pan out, she and I would still be us. That nothing could ever pull us away from each other. I needed to be okay with not knowing. I needed to put trust into the unknown, just like she had been doing from the minute she met me.

Don't make the same mistakes we did. I won't.

I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her into me, and diving down into her lips. We were centimeters apart, the heat from our mouths keeping each other warm. "I'm so fucking sorry about last night," I softly spoke, our lips nearly touching. 

The tension only grew, and she gave in to it, waving away the apology and whispering, "Damien, just kiss me." I pressed my lips gently to hers, savoring the feeling of her softness as if I hadn't kissed her so many times before. This kiss was deep, so deep, it had my head spinning, almost delirious.

I wanted to go to sleep, and wake up to sweet kisses like these ones. I wanted to stock up on them for the rest of winter, taking as many as I can so that I'll make it to spring.

She moves backward, and I follow, our lips never missing a beat. Pressing her up against the car, I clutched her into me, trying to get her closer than she already was, but the thick material of our coats made it difficult to do that. Instead, I brought my hands up to either side of her face, holding on for dear life, and savoring every bit of her. A moan slipped from her mouth into mine, as the sweet kisses turned almost ravenous, making the both of us break away before it got too far.

"Damien, we're in a graveyard." She whispered into my ear, that nervousness that I loved sitting in the back of her throat.

"Don't worry, I wouldn't do anything with my mother only feet away." I joked, clearing up the inclination that she thought I'd take her in the middle of a cemetery. Although considering the frown that settles on her face when I stop us from going any further, I don't think the setting mattered as much as she thought it did.

"We'd be giving all these ghosts a free show," she breathes out, pulling away only slightly and trying to laugh at the bit of embarrassment she feels. "I'm worth a little more than that."

I shake my head at her, flashing a smile. She makes all of this easier, bearable. Like no matter how much shit I'd go through in my life, her presence would just know how to calm the storm.

And as I kept looking at her, studying those eyes that have challenged me so many times before, I realized that things had changed. I think she realized it too. I knew I had to say something now because if I didn't, I don't know if I ever would. Tipping her chin up towards me, I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her close to me again.

"I need you to trust me, Vera. Can you do that?" I knew I was asking for a lot, but I made a promise to keep my word.

She brings her bottom lip in between her teeth, giving me a hesitant nod. I didn't expect anything other than reluctance from her. I was surely spinning her head for probably the hundredth time.

She gave in anyway, her face stilling. "I don't think I ever stopped."

I took a deep breath, mustering up every last bit of courage that sat inside of me. Pushing a piece of her hair behind her ear, and caressing her cheek as I gripped her waist, I spoke.

"I need you to get on that train tomorrow night," I paused, looking for some kind of feeling behind her eyes. "I need you to go back to Paris."

Confusion sat on her face. I know telling her to leave only stung, but I needed her to continue living for herself while I tied up loose ends. I was going to do things right this time, and that's why she needed to go back.

"Where are you going? Can't you tell me what you're doing?" She's eager as ever, and I missed the way she pressed me for answers all the time. She never wanted to be left out of things. She'd only have to be patient this once more, that I'd promise her.

"All you need to know is that we'll survive this," I repeated the words from her letter, and it brightened up her eyes within seconds, drying them up. Like that little sliver of hope she had for us, suddenly flourished into the calla lily garden she wrote about.

I dove in for another kiss, adding that one onto the list of many that'll carry me over into the next season. Still looking up at me, she took off her gloves and brought her hands up to my face, her bare fingers warming my skin. Her touch sent heat waves through my body, thawing me completely.

"Promise you'll come back to me?" She stood on the tips of her toes, trying to get face to face with me, but I still towered her by several inches. She wanted to level with me and make sure I'd show up, that we were going to be us again.

Smiling at her, I leaned down to the side of her face, meeting her halfway. I whispered into her ear.

"I'll be right behind you, baby." 

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Note: I kept this one sweet and short. You don't need to say a lot to know that a love like this will always find a way to survive. 

—love, kay