LEMONADE 2||

Chapter 38: Sorrows

Two Weeks Ago

Ricky walked with Josie upstairs Erica was here to pick her up. He couldn't lie last night was intense and he was embarrassed about crying in front of her like a little bitch between that and what she said hurt. He never wanted Josie to feel like he was settling for her. How he felt about her was true. "Goodmorning" Mia said making coffee. "Good morning," they both said in unison. "Are you guys okay now? She asked. "Y-yeah" they both hesitated. Mia walked over towards Josie "Take care of yourself Jo have a good Christmas" she hugged her. "Same to you Mia, thanks for taking care of me" she smiled. Mia semi-rolled her eyes at Ricky walking away. Mia knew how it felt knowing that she could've done better but her heart wanted what it wanted. She was more so disappointed in Ricky's actions last night. She always tells him that he needs to continue to control his anger. The both of them walked outside the awkwardness was cringeworthy. "I'm sorry about everything," Ricky said

"I know" Josie finally spoke the awkwardness was almost unbearable. "I know you were trying to protect me" she added. "Y-yeah it should've never gotten like this I'll never forgive myself-

"You did all that you could" she half-smiled. He could tell she was filled with hurt and confusion. "I didn't mean for shit to get awkward either," he said. "You know I appreciated your vulnerability ....I never see it so I know it was real....... I just think we should just stop this for good" she admitted. Ricky didn't say anything he just nodded. He felt his heart drop into a million pieces. He knew this was it, the shooting was too much. Who could come back from this? How do you claim you're not gonna lose the love of your life twice but fumble again over an ex? The only person he could be mad at was himself. He couldn't even guilt trip Josie out of her decision he didn't even have the energy for it all. 

"I just... you're just so damn egotistical you cared more about me going on a date with another man than how much in shock I was from what went down. I know you have a lot going on but I'm not your emotional teddy bear either... this relationship shouldn't be so hard Ricky. It's gotten weird. I love you but I deserve better" she frowned. Ricky could barely look at her he nodded his head in agreement. "Merry Christmas " she leaned in kissing his cheek. He pulled her into a tight hug hoping she wouldn't pull away. Josie didn't want to let go either but she knew it was for the best. She finally let go walking off she didn't look at him she power walked to Erica's car getting in. "Merry ... Christmas" Ricky said watching them leave.

Present Time

Ricky knew Josie was speaking out of emotion granted there was a lot he had to work on. He didn't want to dump his trauma and family issues onto her. He felt like he did a great job removing her from it but obviously not and he knew he needed more humility in his life. Ricky got any woman he's ever wanted that's why he feels so untouchable but ever since he ran back into Josie she hasn't let up. "Nah fuck that I never followed you to Newyork and made you mine. I gotta do it this time. I gotta make it right" he said getting out of the bed. Lauren, Craig, and Josie kept replaying in his head. He turned on his shower getting in he leaned in letting the water flow over his head. He kept thinking about how he should move. Was he in the right headspace to even approach Josie again? His father literally got assassinated in front of him. Should he chill out?

Josie

Josie was on set getting her makeup done. She face-timed Morgan to see what she was up to. Morgan quickly answered "Josie" she smiled excitedly. "Hey boo, I miss you" Josie smiled. "I missed you too, you look so pretty," Morgan said. "Thank you, mama, what are you up to? She asked. "Umm Erica is taking me and Jace to a birthday party. I think P Diddy's daughter's birthday" she said. "Uhhh okay wow look at you making celebrity friends" Josie smiled. "Yeah it looks like it's gonna be fun they have money," she said. "They do" Josie laughed agreeing. "How's dad? She asked.