★彡[ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇꜱ ᴄʜᴜᴜʏᴀ]彡★

Got Me Feeling All Weird Now 𝟙/𝟚

That Night:

As unbelievable as it sounded, Osamu Dazai did in fact screw things up from time to time.

Sure, he could solve nearly any problem that he faced with a snap of his fingers. Not to mention that he possessed an uncanny ability to turn any situation in his favor. But he was only human in the end, and occasionally he did slip up. 

Take for example, just earlier that day. When he made the very poor decision of returning to the Armed Detective Agency. 

The people he worked with were all amazing individuals. Even though he didn't show it all the time, he cared deeply and sincerely for each and every one of them. They were his rock, his foundation, the ones who had kept him from drowning in his own madness after leaving the Port Mafia. 

Maybe that was why Dazai had gone back. Perhaps a part of him believed that his associates were capable of returning back to normal on their own. The same way Atsushi had back in the alley.

When he had strolled into the offices, he saw that everyone, with exception of the weretiger, was there. They were busily shuffling through pictures of the Nakahara, looking for clues pointing to his whereabouts.

Odd, yes, but not terribly crazy.

Kunikida, very in character, had yelled at Dazai for  slacking off and disappearing from work. Yosano had discreetly peeked over her paperwork, frowning in disappointment when she saw that Dazai would not be requiring her psychotic healing methods(Not from her ability, he ability wouldn't work on him). And Ranpo was too distracted by his snacks to even acknowledge Dazai's arrival.

All typical behavior.

Things quickly went south, however, when Kunikida didn't stop hounding Dazai about where exactly he had been this whole time and Dazai let it slip that the answer to that question was with Chuuya.

That immediately prompted a collective outcry from the agency members. After gushing about the guy, they demanded Dazai tell them where this "beautiful-man-unworthy-of-their-mortal-gaze" was.

Dazai, miming a gag, had replied with a lie. That he, in summary, "didn't know nor frankly care about what that quarrelsome slug  was up to."

Clearly, that had been the wrong thing to say because his horrified associates then called him a traitor and pulled out their weapons. 

Dazai had only half started his speech about remembering who they were and what they fought for when Tanizaki somehow managed to pick him up and yeet him through the window.

See?

That was a perfect example of him screwing up

But hey. You live, you learn, you move on. 

His next course of action was significantly more thought out. After spending the rest of the day combing through Yokohama, he made the decision to scale a certain building with his bare hands.

He was currently perched upon a window sill, trying to wedge it open with a crowbar under the cover of the night.

Would it have been easier to break the glass? Probably. But Dazai was still feeling sore (emotionally and physically) from being thrown out the agency window, and he wasn't in the mood to be beaten up for property damage.

The task before him was proving to be quite difficult however, with his coat flapping to and fro in the frosty wind. He apologized to his old friend and took it off, allowing it to flutter away into the city skyline.

"We'll be reunited soon," he promised. With one final tug, he finally managed to slide the window open. With both arms, he whisked the curtains to a side and leapt through the frame, landing in a silent crouch onto the carpeted floor.