Blue Bird | Larry Stylinson ✔️

20. Blue bird

When I run out of road, you bring me home
You'll bring me home;

H A R R Y   S T Y L E S

Today I didn't realise how much he truly pained me to actually feel this numb reading out my English assignment. I don't even know why I did it in the first place. Maybe to show him how I was really feeling in the inside and wanting to show him just how bad he made me feel. It's funny I feel like this towards him because he wasn't even mine in the first place. Yeah we shared two to three kisses but that doesn't mean he actually cared the way I wanted him to care.

Maybe I cared to much and visualise that he felt the same way so it's basically my fault for assuming things when we didn't even talk about what was actually going on between us but what I don't understand if he really didn't care why would he share something that deep about himself about his mother's health to me and to no one else. He said I was the first one to know from his own words not including the principle who had to know were he was.

It's funny after everything he had done I've never been so scared of losing something in my entire life then again nothing in my life has ever meant as much to me as Louis' does.

Today I wanted so bad to go up to him and confront him for not doing one single thing to make me change my mind but why should I? Even after all he has done.

"Harry are you hearing me?"

Is he even sorry for what he has cause me through these past weeks? Is he hurting just as much as me? Why did he do it in the first place? There got to be a real reason.

"Harold Edward Styles listen to me would you!" I hear my sister shaking me as I snap out of my thoughts turning to her as I set down my song book from writing about a certain British boy.

"Sorry what?"

"I said I made you tea" she smiles as I mumbled a small thanks in return. "How you feeling?"

"Fine"

"Harry I'm your little sister, I know you better than anyone and don't say I don't. I do. I know those scars and burn marks I see all over your body isn't from fighting so why do that to yourself?" She asked calmly.

"Want to know the truth?" She nods. "I feel like the whole world is against me at some days. You, dad, everyone at school is against me. Thinking I done something I didn't do, well I don't think. Yeah a small impact on the accident few years back was my fault as I didn't tell anyone and I brought my little sister, my baby sister to a fucking party and...I just feel numb.

"I blame my self for the accident as if I didn't sneak out and somehow convincing you to come maybe mum would still be alive. It should have been me.. I should...I should have died.. n..not h..her" I sobbed as Gemma pulls me into one of those warm sibling hug as I bury my head in her chest.

She pulled away from the hug cupping my cheeks as I stare at her with my watery eyes, "I'm sorry Hazza for all the things I said or done to you. I took all my anger out on you and not realising what you were going through and I'm sorry for never asking are you okay or doing anything for you. Even when I ask you to do something in a rude way, you would do it as that's who you are.

"You care more about other people than yourself Harry. You can't do that. It's not healthy" Gemma smiles at me as I nod. "I don't blame you for the accident Harry no one does, dad doesn't even though it looks like it, he's not blaming you. I am truly sorry for being an absolute bitch to you the last two years and maybe you can forgive me, and I could spend time with my big brother like we used too as kids?" I nodded again.