Sabriel Insanity

Questions but they came from a Deamus post-

Who spends more cash?

Gabriel. 

Gabriel has the same mentality about money as a ten year old child, in that it's a thing that can get you whatever you want, and you don't really know where it comes from, only that you have it. There's a reason Sam is in charge of everything involving their finances. Gabriel will buy out things in bulk, and not useful items like toiletries or groceries, oh no- he buys out candy and stuffed animals and is confused when Sam yells at him and says they don't have the money for him to do that. Gabe is one of those spouses that has an allowance, despite the fact that he makes his own money. He would complain about Sam keeping his bank account on lockdown, but deep down he knows it's for the best.

Who buys the things in infomercials?

Gabriel!!!! Anytime the TV tells Gabe to buy something, he's on the phone ordering it. They have a box in their garage dedicated to the cheesy infomercial products that don't work, broke, or turned out entirely different from the product they claimed to be. But whether it's magic slushie makers or non stick frying pans, Gabriel will buy them because he's gullible and genuinely believes that the bad actors in the commercials have found the miracle cure to whatever problem their product solves. It's a nightmare addiction, honestly.

Who draws in the dust on their cars?

Gabriel, because Sam is a dignified, responsible human who washes his car and doesn't let it get dusty. Cars are very important in his family, so it's important for him to keep his clean. He washes his car while Gabriel draws a dick in the dust on his and goes "SAMSQUATCH, LOOK!" Dicks, smiley faces, little hearts with their names in them....Gabriel turns car dust into a middle school work of art.  And then Sam washes the car.

Who starts the snowball fights?

I know you're thinking it's Gabriel. Gabriel is a trickster, a prankster, a rebel, but let me tell you. Sam Winchester has a dark side and a chaotic streak. Sam Winchester fucking LOVES getting the head start and upper hand on a good snowball fight, especially when it comes to Gabriel, because Gabriel always pranks him and this is the one way he can get even. Sabriel snowfall fights are not meant to be cute and cuddly, oh no. These are vicious battles to the death, and Sam does not start things he doesn't plan on finishing. Sam starts the snowfall fights. Gabriel just fights to stay alive.

Who throws away the directions to things?

Gabriel is the literal definition of "Pssh, I know what I'm doing, I don't need the directions!" *throws away box* *Literally two seconds later* "Wait, what did I have to do next?" *Cue digging around in the trash*

Sam throws away the directions too, but he remembers them, so it's fine. Gabriel's always the one with his head stuck in the garbage because he has no long term memory when it comes to directions. This is also why Sam drives on their trips, because Gabriel insists he knows shortcuts. He does not.

Who puts up holiday decor?

So, Gabriel has the energy to put up holiday decor, but Sam does it because he has the height. Sam puts up the lights on the house and the inflatable skeletons and the angel on top of the Christmas tree and who are we kidding, Sam totally puts up all the decorations because Gabriel loves having decorations but this man has NO IDEA how to style anything and as much as Sam adores the rainbow, he doesn't want the Christmas stocking to clash, OKAY? Gabriel brings everything out, and Sam does damage control and makes it look pretty. They're a good team.

Who is more likely to forget to bathe?

G A B E.

Do you really think Sam Winchester would ever forget to wash his hair? 

Gabriel likes to get messy, and sometimes bathing/showering just slips his mind....for several days. Sam usually has to remind him, and when that doesn't work, he very dramatically refuses to kiss and/or touch Gabriel until he cleans himself, and that method is always 100% more effective than just telling him to bathe. The mere idea of robbing Gabriel of anything lust related gets him motivated to do anything. And, y'know, if Gabriel is being particularly stubborn or Sam just feels like it....Sometimes they just shower or bathe together. Y'know. To save water.

Who gets more obsessed about things?

Both of them, god help us all. This is an obsessive couple, and their powers could do wonders if used for evil. Gabriel is obsessed with candy, of course, and with making Sam happy, and if you don't think Sam is obsessive, go back and watch what he does after Dean becomes a demon.

The two of them like to get hooked on things, usually some sort of show or food, and they will die for it. They have a stupid amount of hills they're going to die on, their personal favorite being their love for Anna and Mr. Bates on Downton Abbey. Does Gabriel understand ANYTHING about early 1900's British history? Nope. Would he kill and die for those two to be happy? Yep! They've written fanfiction for this, come on- Some of their other obsessions have gone to the following lengths:

-Roadtripping around the country to follow a donut food truck

-Spending hundreds of dollars on concert tickets

-Writing MANY dedicated, extensive letters to Food Network 

-60+ fanfictions on AO3 (Rated E)

-Roleplaying, the innocent, G-rated kind.

-Roleplaying, the kinky kind. 

-Literal dumpster diving

These boys are unhealthy and they know it.

Who sings in the shower?

Gabriel.....Gabriel likes showtunes....

Which means that Sam is plagued by the memories of Gabriel belting out half of Les Mis and using all the hot water at the same time. His favorite one to sing in the shower is, naturally....Singing in the Rain. He thinks it's hilarious. Sam's just accepted that it's one of the many loveable quirks of his boyfriend. Sam, on the other hand, does not sing in the shower. He's confused where the concept even came from.

But like... When he and Gabe are showering together... Sometimes Gabriel needs a duet partner, y'know? 

He's not skilled enough for Les Mis, but he'll admit to having a weak spot for West Side Story.