Joel Hokka / Blind Channel - ENEMIES WITH BENEFITS (English)

21 - so much more than that

"Did you miss me? I bet you missed me." Joel was murmuring against my ear in that deep tone of voice that was barely audible. This man knew exactly that his tone of voice made me get weak in my knees. Every single time he proved that no matter how hard I tried to not be affected by his words, they always pulled me back into his spell. He always found a way to make me fall silent on the spot.

"No I didn't." I brought up through gritted teeth. "Are you sure, mh?" I could feel him press up against me even more. One of his hands was resting on my back, the other one had been placed on the back of my head by him. Joel was strongly pressing my face against his hard chest.

"Yeah, no that's enough." I grunted and pushed the older one back, in a way that looked rather playful, so that the other ones wouldn't get suspicious.

I was so ashamed of my feelings, I didn't want them to see how my body reacted when I was physically close to their friend. And most importantly I didn't want Joel to notice how much I was secretly longing for his touches. It was for the best if I tried to keep the older one at distance.

We all sat down at one of large tables outside. Luckily this time I was seated between Tommi and Olli but Joel still sat down right across from me, which seemed to be even worse if I really put my mind to it.

Now I was forced to look in his direction the whole time, I couldn't exactly ignore him completly. At least the other ones kept up a lively conversation in which I could engage, I didn't pay too much attention to the blonde haired one. Only when he was speaking my eyes were fixiated on him.

The food was absolutely delicious and we all praised Joonas for his genius idea. "Man the food is really good." Tommi brought up mumbling, his mouth was stuffed with fries. "I know, that's what I suggested we come here man." Joonas answered and raised his glass. Once again he was drinking beer. I was convinced this man drank more beer than water which was somehow kind of concerning but then again it didn't seem to do that much to him. Joonas was just Joonas.

"Joel?" I suddenly heard a high pitched voice say and turned my head. A tall woman with light brown, long hair was standing at our table, her eyes fixiated on the man with the black sunglasses. I could see in Joel's face that he had not the slightest idea who the woman in the tight dress was. "I'm sorry, have we met before?" Looking her up and down, he stopped eating and ran his fingers through his tangled blonde hair. His lips did that thing where he raised one corner of his mouth, almost creating a little smirk.

"Yes! It's Chloe, we met at the motocross track last week. I kicked your ass, remember? You were whining like a little girl." The sound of the woman's sweet laugh filled the air. "Shhh. You can't say that here, I'm with the boys." Joel said in a flirty way and put a finger on his lips. So now I was part of 'the boys'. Well that was great.

"Hey, do you wanna sit down with us?" I usually agreed to everything Joonas suggested but not this time. "Yeah, sure!" The woman threw her hair back and sat down nex to Joel. Great, now I was forced to look at both of them while agressively murdering the fries on my plate with a fork.

"I must say I'm a little disappointed that you didn't recognize me. I mean you were the one who asked for my number and not the other way around, remember?" She really could have kept that information to herself, I didn't want to know which women Joel was hitting on in his freetime. "To be fair Chloe, you were wearing a helmet and a motocross suit when I met you and not a skintight dress. It looks very good on you by the way, very sexy." He formed his lips to a flirty smile and I was almost certain he was winking at her through those dark shades of his.

As much as I wanted to disagree with Joel, there was seriously nothing to disagree with. That woman was georgeous, she was absolutely perfect. Her body, her hair, her eyes, her lips, her tattoos, even her hands were perfect. Compared to her I was looking like a train wreck.

"Sais the one that looks like a sexy rockstar dressed in all black." She chuckled at him and put both of her hands on one of his legs. It suddenly felt how the food I was eating was getting stuck in my throat and I started to cough violently.

"Oh god honey are you okay?" That Chloe girl turned her head in my direction and looked at me like she was pitying me. That was the absolute last thing I needed right now.

"Oh don't mind her, she's fine." Joel answered before I even had the chance to speak up. He was acting so arrogant it made me furious. "I can speak for myself Joel, thank you." I brought up mumbling and rolled my eyes at him.

I could see that his right hand was moving under the table. He had probably layed his hand on her leg, the same way he had layed his hand on my leg the night that everything escalated. Although he was wearing sunglasses I could sense that he was looking at me the whole time while touching that woman's leg.

"Aleksi, could you maybe give me your keys to the studio? I totally forgot I need to finish a few comissions. Would it be okay if I go ahead?" What I said wasn't entirely made up. I had a few comissions that I still had to finish but it was truly nothing urgent. I just couldn't stand to continue to look at Joel and this woman. How they were touching each other, how they flirting with each other. I had to get away before I would say or do something I would regret.

"Yes sure." Aleksi threw the jingling keys over in my direction and I catched them with one hand. I stood up and grabbed my purse. "See you later." I put a few euro bills on the table and started to walk away.

It wasn't even the fact that Joel purposely hit on that woman infront of me that bothered me. I knew that he was trying to make me jealous by the way his eyes were fixiated on me when he layed his hand on her.

It was the fact that he complemented her that somehow struck so deep with me. Even if it had just been a cocky, simple compliment he had given that woman. Joel had never complimented anything about me, not even one positive word about me had left his lips since the day we met. All I was to the tall blonde haired one was Aleksi's annoying best friend that he liked to manipulate.

But to me Joel was so much more than an unbearable tease. I slowly but surely came to terms with the fact that I somehow felt to him connected emotionally and I didn't like it at all. This man was having his way with me and I was falling for him like a stupid piece of shit.

I wanted to be more to him than an object. At least that's what I felt like he saw me by the way he was treating me. Maybe if I didn't push him away so much he would open up more, or maybe it would result in me ending up getting hurt, who knew.

I tried to keep him at distance bit it just didn't work. Ultimately he would get what he wanted all this time but not until I had made clear how I really felt about him.

Maybe that would finally scare him away. Maybe we could just go back to the time when all we felt for each other was pure hate.

Author's note:
Today was a really shitty day but I still managed to finish this chapter yay.

It also made me really happy to see the boys play their first live show after ages. They deserve the world.

Also I don't want to give away too much but you guys should stock up on holy water for the next chapter because we're going on a trip to church.