Cognitive Deviance

64. Wall of Thoughts

He nudged the canvas closer to Margo. "Take as long as you need and add as many details as you'd like."

The entire canvas darkened pitch-black in one fell swoop. Margo saw Kusanagi tense up in his seat. She waited for him to comprehend his mistake before proceeding.

Thin white lines straightened and curled like spiderwebs in the making, and a head and torso remained distinguishable by the time the white lines met their end. Smaller white lines trailed away from the head before tracing back to them, creating hair. Not just plain hair, however. A wavy bobcut much like Margo's, its prime distinction being its extended length down to the shoulders rather than the lower tip of the ears. Tints of dark gray brought the hair to life, doing the same job to the character's clothes and lips. Lipstick, Margo and Kusanagi realized.

The only part that remained untouched by vibrant blemishes of a spectral hue like gray were the eyes. Margo left them empty. No irises. No pupils. Just empty, black pools.

"Done," she said.

"Marvelous work!" Kusanagi said. "So this is Ellie?"

"Yes."

"This is how she looked the first time you saw her?"

"Yes, sir."

"Has she appeared again since that day?"

"Several times. She's always dressed like that."

Kusanagi snapped his fingers. "And that's the loose thread! Something to spot if the psychosis becomes too much. A very common strategy practiced by patients with schizophrenia. For example, some notice the hallucination because their clothes don't get wet when it rains or animals don't react to them. But one that's surprisingly easy to miss is whether they age or only wear the same sets of clothing."

"Can the hallucinations become self-aware?" Margo asked. "Like change their physical appearance just to make life harder for me?"

"To be quite honest, it all really depends on the individual. I've yet to hear of anything like that happening to anyone with psychosis. But I'm sure you'll be alright, especially once you've learned to counteract paranoia."

Margo nodded her head, hoping she wouldn't be the first of many to endure such a case.

"Do you have anymore questions or concerns, Margo?"

Margo shook her head.

"Would you like to use another Psych Expressor?"

"I don't think I need it anymore. Pretty sure most of my hallucinations are auditory. Although, while down in the Rabbit Hole, I felt like bugs were crawling all over my skin beneath the BufferSuit."

"Yes, tactile hallucinations are very rare, but possible. It didn't last too long, did it?"

"No, not really."

"Understandable. They rarely last longer than a few minutes." Kusanagi sat back in his seat. "As for your auditory hallucinations, have you still been hearing the voices of people you know?"

Margo shook her head.

"If you mind me asking, whose voice or voices did you hear the most?"

"Ellie was the main one. Although, I think I've hallucinated phone calls with Mason."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. And there was this one night where a man broke into my home and...oh shit! Can I still use that other canvas?"

"Absolutely," Kusanagi said, nudging the remaining blank slate towards his patient.

The artistic cycle began again. The beeps of her ThoughtControl. PIECE CONNECTED, stretching across the canvas. And like her first creation, the beige surface vanished in a sea of oil-black. When the lines and dots appeared, they were white against the charcoal backdrop, dancing across the canvas to bring Margo's subconscious to life. The results were far more simplistic than the first piece, something Kusanagi realized by the time the remaining lines halted at the bottom of the canvas, leaving behind the silhouette of a man.