You don't trust me

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I found myself waking up to an empty bed. I knew I wasn't alone because the spot next to me was messy and I could smell something cooking from my kitchen. I get up, throw on an oversized t-shirt and go out to see Harry setting up the table. When he sees me, he smiles.

"Good, you're awake." He says as he puts a plate of breakfast on the table. "Come eat." I walk close and take my place on the table. I wasn't sure what to say, I know what I should bring up but I just can't bring myself to bring something like that up. Especially when Harry's making me breakfast and looking at me with that smile.

I look up at him. "Why are you up so early?" I finally speak. The jet lag must be killing him.

"It's three in the afternoon," he chuckles. "You didn't have much in your fridge so I went grocery shopping for you. You were still asleep and I didn't want to wake you."

"Harry, I don't want you to spend money on me." I start. "I have my own."

"Can money not be an issue between us?" He says. "I'm not seeing it as throwing money around, I'm seeing it as helping you."

"Okay, but I don't need the help," I remark. "There are plenty of charities for that." Maybe I was being too harsh on him, but I was upset because of what Nes told me and my body was trying to get that out.

Harry sits back, his eyebrows furrowed. "Why are you so upset?" He asks. "Did I do something to you?"

My hand goes up to my hair and I run my fingers through it as I let out a breath. "That night at Colson's club," I begin and Harry looks like he's listening closely. "Did you know I was being taped?" At this, Harry's jaw clenches and I notice his hand that was on the table comes to a fist.

"Who told you this?"

"Answer the question, Harry."

"Was Nes here?"

"You were there that night." I finally say. Harry looks taken aback. "You were there when it happened and you were participating. You knew I was being taped didn't you?"

At this, Harry looks offended. "I was where, Beau?" He asks. "At Colson's club, watching you get fucked by Nes and allowing Colson to watch? While I was where, sitting back as if that's something I would want to fucking see?"

"Nes showed me the video," I retort. "And many others, so this isn't the first time you do this."

"So you're telling me I drove almost two hours from Seattle to come and watch you being fucked, only to drive back and back again to make it seem like I was just getting there?" He looked confused and angry. "That doesn't even make any fucking sense."

Come to think of it, I do remember him knocking harshly on the door and walking in. I don't think I ever remember him being in the actual room with us.

Did Nes get in my head?

There's still videos of him with other women and one of mine. "Okay," I swallow back. "Nes said that you had Colson video tape the threesomes with your past submissives to use as blackmail. Did you tell them to do it to me as well?"

Harry is glaring at me. "No, Beau, I did not." He grits. "I would never do that to you, those videos are from years ago, when I first arrived here in New York. I was out of control back then. I'd bring them girls, he'd sell me coke, I never used any of that for blackmail, it was always consensual. Colson would upload those videos and make money off them, so would the girls."

What Harry said, sounded truthful. Of course that doesn't stop the fact that this whole thing was fucked up. I didn't need anyone to see me in that way. "You don't trust me," Harry speaks again. "Do you? You think this—" he points between us. "That what we have is some sort of fucking blackmail, don't you?"

"Harry—"

He stands up abruptly. "I have been trying to find out who's idea it was to video tape you, that's all. The reason I didn't want you talking to Nes was because of this. She's a manipulative bitch, she will twist and lie everything just to make me look like the bad fucking guy. I'm not proud of my past, I chose to stay with you because I fell for you. I guess I thought you were staying with me for the same reason, not because I was blackmailing you."

I watch as he grabs his suit off the back of the couch.

"Harry, wait—"

"I would never do anything to hurt you, Beau." He glares. "But fuck you for thinking so low of me."

short update

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