Operation Get Myself A Boyfriend (Rizzle kicks fanfiction)

Chapter 10

I open up my laptop and pick out loads of the best photos and Jordan and I. I stick them into a large scrap book and spend hours decorating it in glitter, collage and scraps of material. It takes me ages but by the time I’m finished I’m pretty proud of myself. I flick through it remembering every event taking place in each picture. I wrap it up in blue tissue paper and leave it in my bedroom closet for safe keeping, so I can give it to him for a special occasion.

Whoever wrote the letter is still yet to be discovered but I’ve forgotten about it know. After all, I know it was a prank. Lola and Billie strongly denied writing the letter but I still don’t believe them. I mean, if it was a guy I would date them straight away just because of how sweet it was, if only someone would tell me. Oh well, what can you do?

I drag myself up off the sofa and head to the freezer. I pull out a medium sized tub of chocolate ice cream. I sit up on the countertop with my ice cream tub and a large spoon and dig in, still deeply thinking about the note. I scroll through my Facebook news feed and post a picture of me with my ice cream tub, because I’m cool like that! ‘I should really start doing something with my life’ I think to myself. A sudden knock on the door interrupts me from me from my daydream.  I drop my ice cream back on the countertop and rush to open the door.

I open the door, its Jordan.

-“Hey Jordan, it’s been like forever!” I say, hugging him, he hardly hugs me back, something is definitely wrong. I chat to him with, him answering mono-syllabically.

-“I’ve just ate half a tub of chocolate ice cream so I’m pretty hyper, you know how I am,” I ramble on, practically bouncing around the flat.

 Jordan runs his fingers through his curly brown hair-“Sass, stop,” Jordan says. “I need to tell you something really important, right now,” Jordan says.

I raise my eyebrows at his snappiness – “Okay,” I say.

-“Look Sass. The letters, the flowers they were all me, it’s not some stupid joke or some sick prank,” Jordan says, dragging his eyes up from the ground to meet mine. “I’m crazy about you Sass, I mean it. I wasn’t sure if you felt the same way as I did so I left the letter unsigned. Seriously, you mean everything to me. I just didn’t want to ruin our friendship.  I wasn’t sure if you’d turn me down or ignore me or laugh at me like you do in that really cute way. I’ve felt this way ever since we met in that basement studio. You know that list we made last month, you were the only thing on my list. And that time in Paris, I really wanted to tell you then, for your birthday,” Jordan says, taking a deep breath after his long speech.  “I just don’t want to lose you, even if you don’t feel the same way about me,” He says.

My jaw drops, it was Jordan that wrote the letters. Jordan as in the guy I’ve known forever? My brain is frozen, I have no idea what to say. I am freaking out, seriously freaking out. Jordan is in love with me. Oh-my-god Jordan is in love with me. It takes my brain a while to process this.  

-“Oh, Jordan? I had no idea, I’m so sorry,” I say.

Jordan smiles at me, a sad lost smile, and he starts walking back down the stairs.

-“See you around,” He says. “I hope we can still be friends,” he says.

I just stand there, my legs refusing to do anything, my brain refusing to work, my lungs refusing to breath. My stupid brain never works, especially at the time when I need it most. When I really need to run after him and hug him, tell him it will all be okay.  

The ceiling is extremely boring. I’ve been staring at it for the past two hours. I haven’t cried or felt any emotion what so ever, I’ve just led there thinking about Jordan and the letter and the flowers. Jordan loves me. Jordan loves me. Jordan loves me. Why won’t it sink it? I don’t know whether to text him, phone him or go straight down to his flat to talk to him. I have a weird feeling, my head hurts from too much thinking, and my stomach is in knots. I can’t think at all, so much stuff is rushing through my mind. But then after hours of thinking I start to realise that maybe…maybe I like Jordan back. Is that a bad thing? He is perfect for me, everyone else around me has noticed apart from me. How did I let that happen? Maybe I just never wanted to accept it; maybe I just thought he didn’t like me back. It all starts coming back to me. Like in Paris when he brought me that necklace, I’m still wearing it now; in fact I haven’t taken it off since. When I was on my date with Adam I was constantly comparing him to Jordan. Everything I was looking for in a guy was already in Jordan. Why didn’t I notice this before?