2 Bodies 1 Soul

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I went over to her and picked her up and started slowly rocking her so she could wake up. She woke up and flashed her gums at me.

"aw hi babyyyy"

Then I went back downstairs.

Me- "seeee, y'all was doin' too much for no reason"

~~~

I wanted to take a drive, to tell him so that's what happened. During the drive we smoked and listened to music.

We found a private spot on a hill.

"you ready"

I nodded my head. I undid my seatbelt and turned my body towards him, he undid his and shifted as much as he could.

"which one do you wanna hear about first"

"imari"

"we met in 6th grade and he was my very first boyfriend ever and my first love i guess you could say. we would break up and i'd go talk to other boys and he'd talk to other girls, and each time we saw each other talking to other people we'd get in the middle and end up back together. by 9th grade, we had known each other for 3 years already and was on and off for the same amount of time, so of course the topic of sex came up and we decided we were gonna take each others virginities. So he took my virginity and when we did it we got more attached to each other. that summer he had to move. i was sad because i loved him and didn't want him to leave, we still talked on the phone and everything. when he would find out i was talking to other people he'd step in, and all it took was him to say something to me to get me to just leave that person alone like they're feelings didn't matter which at the time to me they didn't, cause i just knew me and him would be together at the end of the day. until i met you, and then i told myself it wouldn't matter if he came back or not. then he came back...i'm not saying i was gonna leave you, but i did feel some type if way when i saw him, you don't have to believe me but i swear i wasn't gonna leave you for him. when he came back that same day kay and bb came over and told me not to up and leave like i did everybody else, i understood where they were coming from but i wasn't gonna leave you it's not in me to. i invited him over to tell him that it wasn't gonna happen between us, he was basically telling me how i say that everytime and end up back with him but i was telling him i was serious and then he tried to kiss me and i was trying to get him off me but he's way stronger than i thought he'd be and you walked in. I know i shouldn't have invited him over when he was by himself knowing our past, but i thought he would have enough respect for me to stop when isay stop or no. i'm sorry"

Hot tears rolling down my face telling him this, i was scared that he might not believe me and leave me.

"is that all"

I nodded my head yes.

"get out the car"

I got out and so did he, he came around to my side and hugged me. I cried into his chest, I really don't know why I'm crying but I am.

"it's ok, as long as you don't leave me we're good"

He said rubbing my back.

"i'm not i promise i'm not"

He kissed my forehead and then we got in the back seat.

I took a deep breathe.

"it was after my grandpa died when i was in 10th grade, we had a very close relationship and i'd go to him about everything, not saying i wasn't close with my parents, i was but it was just, it's some things i felt i couldn't talk to them about so i'd talk to him. when they told me he died i didn't talk to anybody for a while and didn't want to be with anybody but him so with that i started cutting myself. why? i don't know but everytime i did i felt release. nobody knew about me cutting myself and i planned to keep it that way until one day after school i was in my bathroom and kay walked in, i didn't know she was coming over but she caught me and started crying and yelling at me for doing it. she took every sharp thing i had and threw it away, i begged her not to tell my parents but she didn't and she told them. they took me to therapy and everything, it helped for a while but i still put on a fake smile cause it didn't help fully. one night i got really tired of living and told my self i was gonna do it, i was gonna kill myself, i told everyone i loved them and popped a whole punch of pills hoping to overdose. but kay caught on to what i was doing when i told her i loved her and rushed to my house to find me in the bathroom, on my last bottle of pills she smacked them out my hand and then made me throw up to get them out of me. after that kay always watched over me more than she usually did, after a while i told the group what was going on and they've all protected me and was there for me as much as they could."