First Love That Never Lasts

First Love That Never Lasts

They said, "First love never dies," but how about the "First love that never lasts"?

"Happiness looks so good on you," I whispered.

"It's been a long time since I saw you smiled like that."

It's been a long time since I saw your eyes shine like it holds a thousand stars and galaxies. I remembered you used to give those smiles to me. Only on me, but now...

Pinunasan ko ang mga luhang walang humpay na naglalandas sa'king pisngi. With a heavy heart, I signed and forced myself to smile even if I'm crashing inside.

I once dreamed a lifetime with you, and now it will remain as a dream.

A bittersweet smiled appeared on my face when I started reminiscing our days together.

***

Pumasok ako sa napakaingay na classroom kasama ang magiging adviser ko. When my classmate saw her, they immediately run back to their respective seats. My teacher guides me in front; she smiled at me before she gazed at the students in front of us.

"Good morning, class. As you can see, you have a new classmate here. So, be nice to her, understood?" the class said yes in unison.

"Please introduce yourself, Anak," she said while smiling.

I took a deep breath before I faced my classmates. Hindi na maawat ang malakas na pagkabog ng aking dibdid, I'm not really used to speak in front of many people.

"G-good morning, ma'am. Good morning classmates. M-my name is Amarah Decena. It's nice to meet you all," my hands are shaking wildly while I said these words.

"Amarah, you may sit at that vacant chair over there," Mrs. Reyes pointed to the vacant one on the left side, third row.

When I settled and ready to listen to the class discussion, napalingon ako sa likuran ng may kumalabit sa'kin.

"Hi Amarah, I'm Ian. Ian Madayag," saad niya sabay lahad ng kaniyang kamay. I look at him before I accept his hand; he smiling at me, and there's something in his eyes. It's like it holds a thousand stars, a galaxy within it.

"Nice to meet you," sambit ko ng tanggapin ko ang kaniyang kamay.

I was in first grade when I met him. I was 7 when I first met the guy named Ian Madayag.

***

Naging matalik kong kaibigan si Ian. Siya ang lagi kong kasama, madalas rin kaming asarin ng mga kaklase naming dahil halos hindi na kami mapaghiwalay dalawa.

"Marah, okay ka lng ba? Napansin kong madalas kang matamlay nitong mga nakaraang araw?" bungad na tanong sa akin ni Ian ng madatnan niya ako sa ilalim ng malaking puno ng duhat.

Madalas na naming gawing tamabayan ito, bukod pa roon napakasariwa ng simoy ng hangin at tanaw ang buong baryo.

Hindi ko siya sinagot bagkus nakatulala lng ako sa kawalan.

"Marah..." muli niyang tawag sa'kin ngunit natigilan siya ng iharap niya ako sa kniya.

"Anong nangyari bat ka umiiyak?"

"Wala..." sambit ko at mabilis na pinunasan ang luha sa aking pisngi.

"Sinong umaway sayo? Sabihin mo, aawayin ko para sayo. Wag ka ng umiyak Marah ang pangit mo," pag-aalo niya sa akin.

Napabuntong hininga ako ng malalim habang nakayuko at pinaglalaruan ang aking mga kamay.

"Si m-mama at p-papa..." iyon pa lng ang nasasabi ko at muli na naming bumuhos ang mga luha sa aking mata.