In Too Deep.

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I had stuck to my original plan of ditching the rest of the day, going back to Derek's for more training since I nearly lost it at school. Well, I kind of did loose it, i took it out on the girls room mirror. And why? Because Stiles had a condom in his pocket? So what? He was entitled to sleep with whatever slut he wanted. I mean we weren't together anymore so it shouldn't bother me. Besides, if he's pissed at me because of Isaac than I sure as hell can be pissed off about him trying to go all the way with someone else. He cant expect me to be okay with it, when he was ready to kill me over Isaac. 

god i hated my life right now. 

right now I was in the living room, working out in my sports bra and shorts. Lately, working out seemed to be the only way to workout my nerves and anger. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that my anger issues are actually issues now since I cant control the shift. I'm getting better, i really am. I mean months ago getting the news about Stiles would have sent me on a killing rampage but now...it only resulted in a violent encounter with the girls locker room mirror. 

Right now; I was working out and punching the punching bag to express my anger

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Right now; I was working out and punching the punching bag to express my anger. I tried getting all my anger out on this punching bag that way I wouldn't take it out on innocent people anymore. I kept punching the bag, seeing everything I feared as flashes of every bad thing went through my mind. And within a couple of seconds later, the flashback of my parents went through my mind and I let out a loud cry before punching the bag right off the chain. 


It fell to the floor, sand beginning to pouring out of it. I sighed, ripping the gloves off and tossing them to the floor. I rubbed my wrists, stretching a bit before going over to one of the balanced beams. I turned on my ipod, putting my head phones in before I jumped up, and started doing pull ups. 




I was doing pull ups, listening to my ipod

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I was doing pull ups, listening to my ipod. Classical music has a way of calming me down. Classic music does that for me. I focused my attention on the rhythm of the song as I closed my eyes. But it was like as soon as I did that, I..I saw something. I saw him. 

I saw Gerard. 

I was back in that basement and I was being tortured again. I was seeing everything bad that has ever happen to me. I felt my heartbeat start to rise out of control as I kept doing pull ups, trying my best to work through the nightmares. I felt my arms getting weaker as suddenly I fell to the floor, gripping my head. I screamed in pain as I tried my best to calm down. 

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