I'm Not Fine At All

Chapter 13

The waitress laid two menus down in front of them and pulled out her notepad, clicking her pen open. "Welcome to Frankie's Cafe, my name is Marie and I'll be your waitress this afternoon. Can I start you off with any drinks? This is our wine and spirits menu," The woman said as she pointed to the small card in the middle of the table. "We also have a list of beers on tap. Would you like to hear that?" Louis shook his head. "No, I'm good. Haz, do you know what drink you want?" The waitress turned to Harry. "I'll have a Dr. Pepper, please. Extra ice," He said while looking down at his lap.

Marie wrote down Harry's drink order on the pad before looking back to Louis. "And you, sir?" Louis picked up the wine menu and examined it. "I'll have a glass of Pinot Noir." The woman nodded and added that to her notepad before leaving to get their drinks. "Ok, Louis, finish your story. You left off at explaining how your dares can get people arrested," Harry said as he leaned forward, chin on his locked hands. "Right. So, my dares are always the craziest ones, and I was the first to go. Liam dared me to stick my head in the toilet for 30 seconds straight and I did it no problem."

Louis paused for a second with a thoughtful look on his face. "Though I do remember getting quite sick afterward. Well, anyway." He waved his hands, passing it off. "I stuck my head in the toilet and then it was my turn. I spun the bottle and it landed on Zayn, and he chose dare. That was a huge fucking mistake on his part." The boy chuckled as the memory replayed in his mind. "I dared him to go streaking at the local zoo. He, of course, got all upset and whined about how 'it's closed right now, we'll get arrested, that's breaking the law, I don't want the elephants to see my junk'," Louis did his best Zayn impression, making Harry throw his head back and laugh.

Louis was forced to stop his retelling of the story once again when the waitress came back, both their drinks balanced on a tray. "Here you are, gentlemen. Dr. Pepper for you," She set the soda in front of Harry. "And a Pinot Noir for you." Marie set a glass on the table and picked up a bottle of wine, uncorking it and pouring it into Louis's glass. "Have you two had a chance to look at the menu or do you need a few more minutes?" Harry opened the menu to glance it over, his eyes falling immediately to the veggie burger. "I'll have the garden veggie burger, no mayo, with a side of crinkle-cut fries please."

Marie wrote down the order and Harry looked at Louis. "I'll have the same, but keep the mayo on mine." The younger boy made a gagging motion with his fingers and Louis stuck his tongue out at him. "Alright, boys. I'll have that out to you as soon as possible." The woman gave them a cheerful wave before walking away and going back into the kitchen. "Continue," Harry said, taking a sip from his drink. "Okay, so Zayn finishes complaining and we all walk over to the zoo. It had been closed for a while and we knew that no one was there. Zayn climbed the fence first, then me, then Liam. He brought up the rear in case he had to catch us," Louis noted since Liam was the strongest.

"So, we get into the zoo and Zayn got all freaked out because for some reason he had this fear of the elephants seeing his dick. I guess he thought that they would make fun of him in their minds. I don't even know what goes on in that kid's brain sometimes." Louis shook his head and sipped his white wine. "I, being the great friend that I am, shut him up by pulling his pants down to his ankles and slapping his ass. He sort of came back to reality then and started getting undressed. He was still really shaky, though, cause the nerves made the buzz of the alcohol sort of wear off. I knew it was time to pull out the flask then."

Louis cleared his throat and took another drink of his wine, offering it to the younger boy after. Harry took the glass and took a sip, his face twisting up as he swallowed. "Ergh. That's nasty. I don't think I like wine." Louis smirked and took the glass back from him, shaking his head. "You are one strange kid," He said under his breath. "Well, continuing on, Zayn got naked and I took his clothes, which was the second huge mistake he made that night. Even sober, I tend to drop or lose things, or kind of just forget what I'm supposed to be doing.

"So, after a little bit of shoving, and a few slaps to his thighs to warm his little friend up, Zayn took off running. He ran past the monkey enclosure, the tiger cages, and the elephant enclosure, brave little lad, and stopped at the entrance to the reptile exhibit. He has a weird thing about snakes so he didn't want to go in there. Liam and I followed him a little further behind, jogging at a slower pace. When we got to him, Zayn held his hands out for his clothes and I realized that I had dropped them somewhere."

Harry gasped and leaned a little closer to the boy, really getting into the story. "Obviously we went back and retraced our steps trying to figure out where I dropped them, but we couldn't find them anywhere. They were gone." The younger boy's eyes widened. "So, you know how the zoo lets the orangutans kind of just roam free on those wires hanging over everything?" Harry nodded. "Well, turns out they let the monkeys stay free during the night since they're not that likely to escape the zoo, and even if they did, they wouldn't pose a threat to the city and the city is so small they wouldn't be that in danger. A fucking monkey stole Zayn's clothes. So now there's a monkey running around in the zoo with a pair of fucking Donald Duck boxers and a Bob Marley t-shirt stashed somewhere."

The younger boy burst into laughter, spitting his soda out all over the table. Louis grimaced and grabbed his napkin, wiping up the mess Harry had made. "Gross, Harry." Harry blushed in embarrassment and cleaned up his side of the table, laying the napkin next to him once he was done. "So yeah, Zayn had to walk home from the zoo at one in the morning, partially sober and butt naked. I have some great pictures on my phone if you want to see." Louis went to take his phone out of his back pocket but stopped when he saw the waitress coming back with their food. "I'll show you in a minute, Haz. Our food is here."

The waitress walked over and set their food in front of them, setting down a few more napkins next to Harry when she saw the mess on the table. "Here you go. Enjoy." Louis thanked the woman and she walked off, heading over to a new table that had just been seated. "Looks delicious," Louis hummed as he looked at the burger on the plate in front of him. Harry picked up his own burger and took a bite, moaning when he tasted. "Oh fuck, this is great. Yum." Louis smiled and picked up a french fry, biting it in half. "This is great. We need to come here more often." The older boy knew what he was insinuating by saying that, and he winked at the boy so that he got his point completely across. The blush on the boy's face made his heart flutter, knowing that he had caused him to look like that.