p•u•z•z•le

•talk•

Lying is easy.
You just do something you weren't supposed to, make up a story in your mind that'd excuse your shitty behavior, rethink 17 other versions of that same story and finally make a decision not to lie at all.

Because you're just that good at it.

Sometimes, shit just happens. To think it was your fault is not productive at all. That's why you put a big smile on your face, greet everyone with a kind word and a warm hug.
Then, people will think you're a good person. They won't question your strange hair or the fact that you're probably the only one in the friendgroup who isn't a fan of iced-coffee (I still don't get the point of making your coffee cold).
And you'll seem like a person who wears their heart on their sleeve.

Even if your sleeves are too dirty for anyone to know which trash you dug five minutes ago.

Sometimes, you just want freedom to scream uncontrollably and not scare the living shit out of everybody around you.
Yet, you care too much. You know if they see you bleeding, they'll finally realise you're human. If they see you cry for a 'valid reason' and not fictional characters, they'll think of you as weak.

But you are weak.

Not as weak as you were before (thank the universe), but still a scared little bird that doesn't even know how to walk alone in the dark. Are you even listening to me?
Here you are, making it about yourself again...
Making excuses to stay up all night writting some silly chapters talking about shit that nobody cares about but you.

Or do you care?

We don't have to talk about it... you know?
We can just exist in this reality, forever wondering about the future and other fairytales. You know you can always come to me. I won't judge you.

I literally am you.

You know I don't like
talking about myself.

I know.
I won't listen.

You think I'm pathetic,
don't you?

I don't actually.

But you think I'm selfish.

Nope. Not really.

Ok, but you do
find me annoying.

No.

If you think I'm not
the most chaotic bitch
that ever walked
this universe,
you're a fool.

I suppose
I'm a fool then.

You know you're just
lying straight to my face
right now?

You know you're
talking to me
right now?

You made me talk.
That's not fair.

You were the one
who put words
in my mouth.

But you were thinking
all those things.
Admit it.

Ok. I admit you
think of yourself as
pathetic, selfish,
annoying and chaotic.

But you think
those things too.

You also don't trust
anyone in this world.

That's not true.