The Blackout Girl ✔️

chapter nineteen

"They can see us," Kaytee informed her. "We can't see out, but they can see in on the other side."

"I figured as much," Lexi said. "Is anyone watching now?"

"I don't know," Kaytee admitted. "But if someone is, we have nothing to worry about. You didn't do anything wrong. It's alright."

Lexi paused. "Do I have to stay here?"

She'd been stuck inside one of these rooms for too long before, and the whole thing brought back horrible memories of the things that happened to her before. She didn't want to feel trapped again, like a prisoner. Not until she was proven guilty.

"No," Kaytee responded. "Come on. Let's get you out."

Kaytee offered her a hand, and Lexi took it hesitantly. The agent squeezed reassuringly and opened the door for them to enter the hallway.

Nolan's eyes fell to Kaytee first, then Lexi. He was standing beside a tall, Asian man, who smiled at them. Lexi couldn't bring herself to return it.

She felt so small, so fragile. She glanced at Kaytee. "Can I have that coffee now?"

"Of course!" Kaytee said brightly. "We'll be right back."

Lexi was surprised Kaytee knew how to navigate the maze of the FBI Field Office so well. Every hall and corridor was practically identical, enough to get her turned around if she wasn't careful.

Kaytee took her up the stairs instead of using the elevator, and Lexi was glad. She liked the space, even if it required walking up a few floors.

"This is us," Kaytee said, as she led her through the glass doors marked Violent Crimes Task Force.

Lexi studied the room, taking in all of the desks and empty chairs. This was where they came to work each day, picking apart her story, her family, every detail they could find to forward the investigation. She tried to picture which agent sat at each specific place, but it was hard because she didn't know them at all.

Kaytee started the espresso machine sitting on the counter in the kitchenette. Lexi watched as she reached for a carton of cream in the fridge and some sugar packets. Her mother would scold her for not offering any help, but Kaytee was faring just fine without it.

"Thank you," Lexi said. "For everything."

"It's no trouble at all," said Kaytee, dimples indenting her cheeks. "I'm just doing my job."

Lexi knew Kaytee was minimizing her own impact. It was her job to get answers, not to treat Lexi to coffee and be friendly. That was all Kaytee. It felt strange to know she was technically "Agent Carlisle" because it didn't fit her.

Kaytee pushed the sleeves of her blouse up to her elbows and held the milk over the mug. "Say when."

"When," Lexi called out when her coffee reached a soft brown hue.

Kaytee passed her the drink and poured herself one. Lexi tried to pretend some of the other agents weren't staring at them as they stood there. Lexi, in pajamas, looking like a mess. Kaytee, studious and professional.

"They're interns," Kaytee said, explaining them away. "Ignore it."

Lexi tapped her nails against the side of the ceramic cup, trying to ease her nerves. "Does it ever scare you? Knowing that anyone could die at any moment?"

Kaytee lifted a shoulder. "You know, it used to. I have to think about all the people we saved instead of all the people we didn't. If I think about the negative stuff, I won't be able to forgive myself. The way we view ourselves and the work really is a game-changer."