Draco Malfoy x Obama x y/n

5; Obama

Obama POV
I sat in my pink onesie, attempting to do homework to my favorite Just in beaver album, Purpose (bc im not afraid to like feminine things uwu im not like the other guys). Michelle michelle you are a monster from hell barged in on me, and i jumped in surprise.

"Oh, hey michelle!" I waved awkwardly.

"Hey, what are you doing? I didn't see you in potions today I wanted to make sure you were ok"

"Sorry I didnt feel so hot" I averted my piercing brown gaze.

She smirked. "Well thats odd, bc you always look hot"

I blushed. "sorry michelle, you know im not into you"

Michelle rolls her eyes. "i was joking stupid, i dont actually like u"

"b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-why?" i gasped.

"ur ugly"

tears pricked my poo brown eyes. "get out"

"no lol"

"get OUT!!!1!!" I yelled, my shart-colored eyes glowing red as I lost control.

I shoved her out of my room and locked the door. oh no i unveiled my true demon form i thought

now i was stuck like this, unless i sharted, so i ran to toilet and let it rip. as my butt exploded from the giant shart, i started to levitate from the force of which dung particles of all sizes flew out of my buttcheeks. They dented the bathroom floor like bullets.

as the crap plops into the toilet water and smacks against the toilet bowl, i can feel my crimson wings start to shrink and hide, and my previously Buzzfeed-esque period-blood-painting colored orbs fade back into their usual sable shade.

i sigh in relief that i am hidden again and in exhaustion from pooping what felt like my liver and both of my kidneys(one was donated from guy fieri so it's precious to me. the other one is naturally mine so idrc abt it) out of my body.

the air reeks of sweat, blood, tears, and shit. lots of shit.

i spray 5 entire bottles of febreze in the bathroom, and when i try to inhale it, i almost suffocate. then i start to wipe myself with charmin ultra soft. "cause⚠️my🇲🇲hineys🍈clean🧼oh😯yeah🌝its🚮charmin🧿clean😆"

(A/N: idk what this shit is ive lost all will to live rn tbh)