13 reasons why - avengers

0.12: TAPE 12

thor: oh great

sam pops in tape 12 with a sigh of being done.

y/n: thor odinson. the god of thunder! needless to say we weren't each other's favorite people.

thor: got that right

y/n: i uh actually if today i do end up going to the light, that means i called you on the phone today. just to ask you how you were.

tony: this true?

thor: y-yes

y/n: all i did was speak normally. somehow i still struck a nerve. y-you got me fucked up in the head man. never doubted myself this much. am i strong enough? am i worthy of even being on the team? i hated how much power i let you hold over me

steve: thor...

thor: god i wish i could take it all back

thor sometimes had nice things to say about her, and sometimes didn't. and the mean things...they were mean

y/n: it's always one step forward and three steps back. i'm the hero of your life until i make you mad. do you like me, want to fight me, hate me. thor i couldn't understand.

loki: one step forward and three steps backward? what does that even mean

bucky: loki shut up

loki: she liked me!

everyone except loki: no she didn't

y/n: maybe in some masochistic way, i kind of found it all exciting. which god will i get today? will you comfort me in my room or leave me there crying? it's always one step forward and three steps back...

steve: i hate all of you

tony: what the hell steve? just shut up!

steve: n-no i wont! i wont shut up he grabs the remote and presses pause i'm not going to shut up! i fucking loved her!

tony: SHE WAS AN IDIOT. SHE DESERVED EVERYTHING SHE GOT  he stands up out of his chair

steve: oh you did not just say that he comes to his level and clenched his fists.

clint: HEY HEY STOP IT. she brought everything upon herself steve

vision: please everyone just stop it. calm down...we need to listen to her. he snatches the remote and presses play

everyone calms down and sits back in their seats.

y/n: it was always back and forth between us. i would sit in my room and think "did i say something wrong?" i would replay everything i said in my mind. it's back and forth, maybe this- well not me you know, being dead, but me feeling like this, maybe it's all your fault. let's go over some of the things you said, shall we?

thor: oh no

y/n: you know actually i uh i wrote it all down. she shakes a notebook in front of the camera. i actually wrote down everything all of you said to me after we had a big fight. it kind of helped me cope. soooo uh here! thor. stupid bitch, that one was used a lot. uh unworthy, brat, imbecile, idiot, can't do anything right, can't do anything for herself. you know the list goes on and on.

tony: THOR!

thor: heat of the moment! i don't know

y/n: and if i know the man who i ever dared called my dad, he's probably acting like a big advocate for me. thor i hate to take away the spotlight from you-

thor: please do

y/n: uhhh tony. worthless. uh daughter i never asked for. inconsiderate. son of a bitch, even though one in a girl and two i was your kind of kid? oh and the rest of you aren't off the hook. wanda you never really said anything to me, only injured. uh nat we never fought because i never brought up the bucky thing. steve you were too nice to say anything mean to me. bucky the worst thing you ever called me was a bitch. loki there was too much to ever write down anything. i think literally everything you ever said to me was mean in some sort of way or every conversation we ended up having was a fight. and uh good lord clint and pietros- i'll have to get to those at your tapes.

clint and pietro both sigh and roll their eyes so far into the back of their head.

y/n: i know i keep saying this but i feel like i can't enough. it's one step forward and three steps back. and i would have left you all sooner but the rollercoasters all i've ever had. thor i truly believe you never saw me as more than me at my worst. as a mind controlled villian sent to kill all of you. you closed minded son of a bitch, goodbye thor.

thor: uh can we just move on? that was-

bucky: a lot

thor: yeah