The things we never had

11. Smush

Julie's POV

I couldn't close an eye all night, even tho i was as tired as i've never been in my whole life. Currently 3 in the morning and i decided to get on my rooftop to clear my thoughts. The stars were brighter than usual, and the moon was bigger and shiny. Or maybe they are exactly the same, but my mood is different than the one i was in the last time I did this.

*2 days ago, in the studio*

"Jules, I'm telling you, i am so in love with Willie. It's like everything is different, the sky is far more beautiful, the birds don't irritate me anymore, everything is more awesome." Alex said with a smile plastered on his face.

"Honey, you are whipped." I say chuckling.

*Present, on the rooftop*

Is that how it feels to be in love? I mean, sure, i had my crushes now and then, but it never felt like this. This is a new feeling, it's nothing i experimented before. Mama always told me ever since i was a little girl that love hits you like a feather, you never know when, but you will surely feel it sooner or later, and may i say she was right. She was always right, and i loved that about her, i loved everything about that woman who brought me here. Only if she could've been here to tell me what to do..

Is this love, mama? Or am i just hallucinating?

I never believed in signs, even tho i got them quite frequently as a kid and even as a teenager, but i always brushed it off and thought they were coincidences, but i've been proved wrong before the Orpheum show.

Mama, can you send me another sign? I really need it before i lose my mind.

Out of nowhere i hear a light poof sound, one of the boys is right behind me, isn't it? May i take my guess on Luke?

"Hey Jules, rough night?" He asks sitting next to me.

Oh boy, mama are you behind this?
Pretty much sure you are.

"Nope, can't seem to catch some sleep tonight. The real question is what are you doing here? I thought you can't poof anymore." I say trying to hide my big as smile with a soft one.

"I don't know, i guess i-um i was thinking about you and i ended up here.." he says scratching the back of his head. He is nervous, but my question is why would he be?

"Sounds like you and i both need to clear our heads a little." I say looking at the sky.

"What are you looking for, princess?" He says looking at the sky too.

"Signes i guess." I reply.

After 10 seconds of silence a feather slowly approaches us, Luke catching it.

"Look, a feather! In the middle of the night? That's weird." He says closely watching it in his hand.

"A feather huh? Let me see." I say taking it from Luke's hand. It's not just a feather, it's completely white and softer than usual.

Thank you, mama.

"Signs." I say under my breath.

"So tell me master, what does this sign specifically means?" Luke says smiling at me.

"Well let me tell you something which might sound stupid or crazy, even tho after what happened last night I don't think it's that crazy anymore. The night at the Orpheum when you guys didn't show up i thought you guys just.. you know. So i didn't know what to do. I didn't wanna sing without you so i got outside for some fresh air and a woman who was passing by me stoped and gave me a dahlia. At that moment all i could think about it was that it was a sign, i asked for it when i needed help and my mom gave it to me. So was this feather. I needed it, and she send it to me, i believe." I chuckle.

"You needed help tonight? Why didn't you came to me?" Luke asks.

"Because it's something that only my mother could help me with, it was supposed to be our thing you know?" I say looking at him. A smile bombarded my face.

"So you got your answer?" He asks.

"Yes, i pretty much did." I say looking at the feather. "May i ask you something without it being weird?"

"Anything Jules, you know that." He says smiling.

I looked up to him and asked him "Have you ever been in love? Like, deeply in love with someone?"

"Well there is this one girl who has my head wrapped around her all the time. Chances are she doesn't even know it and probably thinks it's just a crush or something." He says looking at the stars.

"How did you know you were in love?" I ask.

"You want me to describe it to you?" He asks.

"Mhm." I say shaking my head.

"Well, when i am around her it's like a mood swing, i am happy, then frustrated because i am being obvious and she never realize how far i would go fo her, then grateful. There were times when i would be in a good mood because of her even in rough situation. Stars are brighter, the sky is more beautiful than usual, things that used to irritate me don't do that anymore. And i can keep going, the list is long." He says smiling

"And what are you waiting for? If she doesn't see you, why don't you make a move on her?" I ask looking at his face. The moonlight hits his figures perfectly, he is so handsome.

"I am waiting for her to get the answers that she needs, when she'll be ready she will see me just like i see her." He smiles.

"Well, i got my answers, does it count?" I say smiling. Two can play that game Patterson.

"Sounds like i should stop waiting." He says.

"You know, sometimes you can be very oblivious Patterson. If i didn't say anything it doesn't mean I don't see you as you see me, i just like to play the game sometimes." I say looking at the sky. I know he looks at me, which makes me smile a little.

"So that's how it is, huh?" He says smiling.

"Two can play a game hun, and you best believe i like that little game of yours." I say looking into his eyes.

We locked eyes, needless to say there were no words left, just pure hunger we felt for eachother. His eyes flicker on my lips and back to my eyes as quick as a blink. He started leaning in, and so did i. We are not hypocrites, we craved eachother since our fist and last kiss, since the songs and the confessions came along. After what feels like a decade, our lips collided finally. It was a soft kiss, different than before because now i know  my feeling for him as pure as i can.

I am completely and absolutely in love with Lucas Patterson. And i love every second of it.