"i brought you a new one of my hoodies today baby." he smiled. a weak smile fell upon my lips. he pulled me into him again and kissed my head. he got me undies and removed my towel. i put on the underwear he handed me. he put his hoodie over my head. i could smell him all over it. he dropped the towel over my head so i couldn't see and rubbed it over my hair trying to dry it. it made me laugh.
once my hair was dry enough he sat me down on the bed and brushed it. he would kiss my cheek and head every now and then while brushing it. i was beginning to feel less worthless. he tucked me under the covers. "are you still gonna stay the night?" i looked up at him. "of course i always stay the night. what would change that?" i smiled weakly at his words. "i love you." "i love you." he replied.
he climbed into bed with me and pulled me into his chest. he turned out the light. "what's on your mind baby? what's making you so upset?" i clutched onto the hoodie he was wearing. i rubbed my face into him. he held me closer. "i feel...worthless. like there's no point in getting up. my life feels so miserable and i can't stand being awake." i choked up.
"baby..." i could tell he didn't know what to say. "i don't need you to convince me to be here. i don't need pity either. i just need you to be here. i need you to hold me. there's nothing you have to say vin. i'll be ok. i always find some way to keep going." "you shouldn't have to do all of this, feel all of this, alone. i'm here now. i'm with you. you're so used to being alone. you have to learn that you're not."
i sighed. my body relaxed. "you're not a burden. please talk to me when your mind starts eating at you. i'm here, i'm always here. you gotta let me take care of you." he kissed my head. his arms were around me, pressing me into him. he was warm. safe. he felt like home. he gave me purpose. he made me want to see another day. the thought of waking up next to him made me want to wake up. these thoughts overtook me and i blurted without thinking.
"we should move in together-" my eyes widened when i realized what i had just said. "really?!?" he was...excited? i thought that would scare him away. "i would absolutely love that." he lifted my chin and kissed my lips. suddenly i forgot about sadness, darkness, and death. i wanted love, life, and happiness. he could provide me with that. i could be happy.
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