𝐕𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫 ✰ 𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕘𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕤

it's ok baby ^

- kinda sad content :/
- TW (depression, disassociation, mental breakdown, mentions of suicidal thoughts)
- cringe warning lol
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y/n's pov

i had been so happy for a week because my friends were back in town and we went out every night. sadly i began plummeting back down to where i was before right when they left. i felt unbelievably disconnected. like i was floating outside of my body, watching myself go through all the motions.

nothing felt real anymore. it was terrifying. i felt incredibly depressed and it was like nobody noticed. or they just didn't care. i knew vinnie would sit and listen to me but i didn't feel like talking. i didn't feel like doing anything. i constantly felt like a burden to him. i never understood why he loved me the way he did.

i stayed in bed for a long time. my concept of time was so fucked up i didn't even know how many days it had been. all i knew was that i needed to stop letting myself get worse. i had to at least get myself into the shower. i had wasted the day and night away and it was already 2 in the morning.

i sat up on the edge of the bed and stared at the wall. my feet hovered over the floor. it took everything in me to not just lay back down. i finally stood up and got myself into the bathroom. i removed all of my clothes and turned the water on. i kept the lights off. i slowly got into the steaming hot shower and let the water flood over my tired body.

i stared blankly at the tiles in the darkness. i sat down. my head fell into my hands and i sobbed. i wondered why vinnie hadn't come to see me in however long it had been since i got out of bed. i wondered why he wasn't here right now like he usually was. i cried and cried. my sobs echoed off the shower walls. what's keeping me here? why have i always chosen to keep going? why do i stay?

i couldn't answer any of my heads questions. the water was running over my head. i continued to cry loudly, slowly losing control. i felt hopeless. it felt like everything was pointless. the only good thing i had was him. he wasn't even there. why had he been gone so long? has it even been long? what's today?

i was so trapped in my head i didn't even hear the bathroom door open. "baby? are you ok?" i silenced my cries. "yes i'm sorry... i'm just taking a shower.." i covered my mouth to mask my sobs. i put my head in between my knees. he pulled back the curtain and saw me crying on the floor. "baby.." he stripped down to his underwear and climbed in, sitting behind me.

he pulled my back into him. he kissed the back of my head. "it's ok baby..i'm here now." we were both soaked and i was embarrassed. "i'm sorry.." i cried as he wrapped his arms tighter around me. he shushed me and pulled me onto his lap. he held me closely and completely ignored the fact that i was naked.

he held my head into his chest and stroked my soaking wet hair. he kissed my head. "come on baby.. you're okay.." he kissed me again. he helped me stand and then proceeded to wash my hair. "baby you don't have to do al-" he put his finger against my lips. "i'm going to finish washing you, i'm gonna put you in jammies, and then i'm gonna hold you while you fall asleep. ok?" i nodded.

he rinsed my hair out, running his fingers through it and scratching my scalp gently. he washed my body, running his soft large hands over my fragile and smooth body. he rinsed off the soap and kissed my collarbone and shoulders. "i'm here now baby. everything's gonna be okay." i teared up again as he pulled me into him. "come on let's get out baby."

he turned off the water and stepped out to get two large white and fluffy towels. he wrapped his around him quickly and then came back to me. he held the towel open. "step out baby.." i stepped out of the shower and he wrapped me in the soft and warm towel. he used his hands to warm me up. he led me out to the bedroom.