The Dark Heart(B.Barnes)

33: Who Here Hasn't Been to Space?

"Bucky." I whisper, he shakes his head and turns further away from me but doesn't respond. "James, it's fine." I tell him a little louder. He whirls towards me, his eyes red and self-loathing swirling around his mind. He looks me up and down, his chest heaving, before he twists and I watch as his right fist connects with the wall opposite the bed.

"I could have ki-... what if I didn't wake up?" His voice cracks and is gravelly, and he refuses to turn back towards me.

"You couldn't hurt me, James." I say assuredly, I finally slide off the bed and slip between him and the wall. I take his right hand in both of mine and assess the damage, they're scraped but not bleeding, "It was just a nightmare. I have them too." I whisper as I look up at him, he's been watching me carefully.

I don't say anything else, I just pull him down and wrap my arms around his neck as I hug him close. I felt his shoulders shake as he continued to cry. We slowly shuffle back to the bed and I keep my arms wrapped around him as he curls his arms around my midsection and rests his head against my chest. I ran my fingers through his hair until I was sure he fell asleep again, but I couldn't fall back asleep completely.

The next morning, I had my eyes closed and was dozing but I felt him stir and get up. His hand caressed my cheek gently before I felt his lips press against my forehead. I was about to open my eyes when I felt him breathe out heavily, "I'm going to marry you one day, doll.".

~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~

I found myself standing in front of the dent, my hand running over the mark. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him by then as well, but I never brought up what I had heard that morning. Marrying James seemed like a no brainer to me, the thought of not having him next to me had been unthinkable.

As I was lost in my thoughts, I remembered something he had said in Wakanda. I hesitated before moving towards the bedside. With a deep breath, I reach down towards the nightstand drawer and pull it open. I lift the small box out and open it with a shaky hand. A sob escapes my throat as I see the ring sitting in the box, it was the same ring that his mother had been wearing in the only picture Bucky had of her.

I feel my back slide down a wall as a new round of violent sobs escape me, my eyes never leaving the ring even when a soft knock comes from the door. I hear it open even though I don't reply and watch from my peripheral as Nat and Steve walk in and make their way over to me, sliding down to sit on either side of me.

We were silent for a while, neither one of them wanted to force me to speak but just sat there and gave me their silent support and comfort. I was the one who finally broke the silence, "I never gave him an answer," I croak out, "He di-" I choke on the word, it refuses to come out but they both understand.

"Alika, if he doesn't know how you feel about him without getting a yes, then he's a bigger idiot than I thought." Nat replies, I notice how she was using present tense while speaking about him, and I was a little grateful about that.

"You know, he asked Pietro and Wanda for their permission. It was the closest he could get to asking your parents. Wanda said yes immediately and started to plan the ceremony but Pietro just threatened him." Steve comments, a quiet laugh bubbles up between my tears and surprises all of us.

"Here," Steve says after a few minutes of us just sitting there. I see something metallic in his hand as he holds it out for me and when I reach out to grab what he was giving me the metal chain slips through my fingers, leaving the tags in my palm.

"Bucky's dog tags, "Steve explains even as I realized what they were, "He would want you to have them. After Becs died, he got them back but didn't want them so he had me keep them.".