5 - i hate you

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New, Edited Chapter - Oct '22

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I make sure that I've washed my face and all signs of distress are gone before my dad gets home from his late work shift. Earlier in the night after calming down, I sent him a text to let him know about what had happened. He rang me twenty minute ago in an interrogation, telling me he'd be home soon.

The front door opens and I rush downstairs, nearly slipping against the railing in my hurried stupor. As soon as he walks in I start rambling.

"I'm so sorry dad I know I should've been with her, I didn't even-" I blurt out before he pulls me into a hug. This time I don't cry or break down, I've spent all the tears I had for today. Instead, I wait in silence for an update.

"She's okay. Amanda rung me from the hospital and your mom will be home by the time you're back from school tomorrow, she just needed some stitches. They said the chemo session from yesterday made her weak and dizzy, common side effect." He explains and I heave a sigh of relief.

"Amanda said you were very brave and dealt with the situation as best as you could." He smiles at me with honest pride, and ruffles my hair with his hand.

However, only a feeling of culpability washes over me at his words, all I did was cry in Amanda's living room with Noah. I smile politely and fake a yawn.

"Go get some sleep kiddo." He ushers me away and then yells out. "Have you eaten anything?"

I didn't have time to make anything earlier, the ice cream from Alessio's is all that sits in my stomach besides the lunch from school, but I don't want to worry him so I lie again and hope that I'll be forgiven this one time by the universe.

Letting myself fall onto the bed, I spend the night awake and then settle on Netflix. At some point my eyes shut, and I spend the night tossing and turning, dreams merging into nightmares.

***

The chances of being late to History class are very high this morning and I can already see Mr Donel's irate, permanently scowling face as I imagine trundling into his classroom a whole 3 minutes late.

I rush through the school corridors, hating that the History classrooms are so high up in the building. Luckily for me, the stairs are pretty much empty now that lessons have started so I am able to run up them, ignoring the disapproving look I get from a random English teacher.

It would be so convenient to drive again. The walk feels tedious and waking up early with little sleep always catches up to me in the worst way. Aaliyah and Cami are always offering me a ride but they live on the other side of school so I feel like a hassle taking them up on their offers.

Reaching the door of the classroom I see through the slither of a glass window in the door that the class is settling into their seats and Mr Donel is talking at them about something. He's scowling, as usual. I pause momentarily, keeling over and breathing in and out trying to regain my breath. I'm so unhealthy, but the gym is not my scene.

Just as I am about to get up and enter the classroom, a head emerges around the corner and I hear my professor clear his throat.

"Miss Evans." He frowns at me as my eyes shift up to meet his disapproving gaze. He's perhaps the only teacher in school who genuinely despises everyone.

"Care to join us inside?" He adds sarcastically, as my eyes flit to the class behind whose attention is now fixated on the situation. Perfect. Timothy Jones laughs and my cheeks start to go red with embarrassment.

"Sorry." I mumble.

I do the walk of shame behind him, noticing the same navy-blue jumper that he's worn every single school day these past weeks. Either that or he has a closet full of the same jumper, both options are just as plausible. I spot my usual empty desk three rows back and start to make my way over.

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