Read All About It

Chapter 15

Dear You,

Not going to lie, this is the happiest i’ve felt in a really long time. I’m glad that I have you like this with me. It’s helped me so much to figure out who I am.

I’m not exactly there just yet, with the whole “who is Harry Styles” thing, but i’m getting there.

I just wish I could help you too. I know you too well, and I can sense the struggle. 

I think I really got it at the studio, though. You’re still afraid. I’m not mad though, it’s a scary thing, but I hope you remember that i’m still here. We’re doing this together, okay? We promised to fall together, and that’s what we are going to do. Just open up to me and it’ll be alright. I’ll do my best to help you cope with it until you actually tell me that you’re afraid.

I hope you know that we can stop this when ever you want. Just tell me before we get in too deep, because I think I may already be there.

If I get there, I don’t think I can stop. There won’t be any turning back if I go.

-Me

~*~

I’m not sure why I still write now that Louis knows about the letters. I think it just helps my thoughts to formulate better. I know I said I would start telling him and not keeping these things a secret, but we all don’t tell a little lie sometimes, right?

He doesn’t know about these ones because they are saved to my laptop. No more printing them. I saved them in a little file on my laptop called  ”Letters To You” which can only be found by clicking through half a dozen files on my laptop. Even though they aren’t much, i’m taking better precautions this time for good measure.

The living room, which Louis declared this morning would be cleaned by him, was still messy when I walked in.

Louis was sitting on the couch, bent over to tie his shoe laces.

“What are you doing?” I said, proposing casual conversation as I plopped down onto the couch next to him. He stood up in a mock attempt to fix his shirt and sat back down about a foot away from me.

“Going out.” He said with a small smile.

Something feels slightly off. I can’t even place it, but the way Louis is looking at me right now doesn’t settle right with me. I know it has to do with his hesitancy towards our…situation, but it still stirs something the wrong way in my  stomach because I know that I can’t help him be comfortable and not ridden with anxiety.

Not yet.

My thoughts dissapate as Louis walks closer to me and sticks a small hand into my curls and ruffles them up a bit before placing a soft kiss at the corner of my mouth. 

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It’s finally the weekend. Not that everyday isn’t like the weekend for us, but everyday is also like a workday for us, so when things happen to be normal and we get a friday or a saturday off, we take full advantage. Luckily for us, we had both friday and saturday and were planning on using them to our full advantage.

“First off, I want to watch a movie. Just please, let’s include a movie into our plans.” Louis said as he pleaded from his spot on the opposite couch; his body draped over nearly every available surface of space. He had informed me over breakfast this morning that he was meeting up with an old friend this afternoon so, even though it was barely 10am, he was already fully dresssed which has to be a record for him.

“Okay, well i’ll look up show times. What do you want to see? I know how much you fancy watching Les Mis. We can catch that one this evening?” I suggested as I scrolled through show times on  my phone.