The Truth That Lies (WangXian Modern AU)

17

"Hurry," he murmurs onto the corner of my mouth.

Once again, there's a question at the tip of my tongue, but I decide against it. He won't answer.

I spread him open, to which he gasps, and I tease his entrance to lubricate and push into the white-hot bliss. His tightness, his arched back, his head that's thrown over my shoulder, his sweet voice, his warmth . . . this shouldn't be human. I could swear I get a glimpse of heaven every time I feel him this close to me.

"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying whispers, eyes closed, mouth agape. "Hurry, just . . ."

I push his torso to his desk and take him apart just like he wanted me to, with the practiced precision, accompanying him into a chant of my name, watching his detailed expressions of bliss, of agony. Bending down, I kiss his shoulder where his shirt had come off, lacing his fingers to mine. I press my nose to his jaw. "I love you," I murmur.

He replies with my name in a whisper.

When I stand back up, he's staring at our interlocked fingers, so longingly as if he doesn't know that they already belong to each other.

So I hold on to it. I could say that there was something wrong and that he was not going to tell me. I've learned that forcing him to open up will only push him away from me. That reckless little things like this are the strings that bind him to being himself. So I let him have what he wants.

Wei Ying comes down, shivering and gasping, seeing him in that honest and vulnerable way, I don't last a second long.

I pull him up and sit on the chair with him on my lap. Wei Ying is quiet. The room is quiet. The silence was only broken by the sound of our breath.

***

In the soft drizzle of the rain that accompanied the chill of the morning, I place a kiss on Wei Ying's hair, who was drooling on me, comfortably asleep. I can see why he loved days like this. The somber light, the earthly smell, the mixture of the breeze and his warmth; it's all refreshing. After the exhausting week both of us had, no other sort of a weekend would have done us better. I might as well agree if he wants to spend the day in bed.

With a deep breath, Wei Ying stretches his limbs, and rolls over, pressing his forehead to my chest. I hold him close, running my fingers through his hair. He lets out a sigh, throwing one arm over my side.

"Good morning." he hoarsely says, rubbing my shoulder.

"Good morning."

"Is it raining?" He's speaking in sleepy syllables muffled by my chest. It almost makes me chuckle as always.

"Mn. Looks like it will rain for a while."

"Really?" he yawns. "I'm gonna go see Cheng today."

I sigh inwardly. I'd be lying if I say I wasn't disappointed. "Do you want me to come?"

"Nah. I'll go alone. I just want to check on him. He's . . . not himself lately."

Neither are you, I almost say.

Wei Ying moves up on his pillow, leaning in to place a kiss on my lips. He lies his face just a few inches away from mine. "Hello," he chuckles, his lips stretching into a sweet smile.

He's radiant. Just in the way how sun flows through raindrops. Just in the way it reflects on the soft waves of the deep ocean. I wouldn't be surprised for a second if I wake up to find a halo around him one day. But today, there's an exhaustion in his eyes. "Did you sleep well?" I ask.

"Fairly," he replies. "Why wouldn't I when you hold me through the night?" he chuckles.

Then why do you look so tired? That was my question, but before I could word, I suppose he sensed it because he presses his lips to mine the way he does whenever he wants to avoid a conversation. Propping up on a hand, he moves down to my neck. "Wei Ying?"

"Hm?" With his lips still working on my neck, he pushes his naked torso against mine and throws his leg over my hip drawing our bodies close, too close. His hand travels down my back and squeezes at the bottom. He rolls us over, getting on top of me.

I'm already losing control when I manage to blurt out, "Again?" He had been this way since the day at his office.

"Why? Are you tired?"

"You'll hurt yourself."

"I'll be fine." He moves his hips, making some involuntary noises escape both of us.

"Wei Ying!"

He stops; silently watches me as I sit up; melts when I reach for his face. I stroke my thumb against the corner of his eyes. "What's wrong, Wei Ying? Talk to me."

His smile vanishes. He clenches his jaws. He's looking at me as if he's just about to cry.

Wrapping my shoulder in his arms, he presses his forehead to the side of my neck. I feel him take a long, unsteady breath. "Nothing's wrong, Lan Zhan. What makes you think so?" he murmurs. "I don't do it for you anymore? Is that it?" he asks, with a weary chuckle.

"Both of us know that it's not possible."

He pulls away taking my face in both his hands. "I'm fine. Really."

I've lost the count of times I received that answer. I sigh and lean in, taking his mouth. He eases with the gesture. I think I'll let it slide this time too.

He pushes me behind, my head hits the pillow. "I'm okay," he murmurs again, tracing ghostly fingertips over my abdomen. "Focus here?"

He wins. He wins every time.

But in all the intensity, even in Wei Ying's warmth, I didn't understand why I couldn't ease off from feeling that beneath it all, something was silently breaking.

Extra:

Something like an extra chapter for today. 

Thank you for your votes and comments.
Till next time...