ruptured heart (Completed)

1//

Dear Diary,
You are my new diary for this birthday.

I'm Pearline Jefferson. A silly eighteen-year-old and I have a companion who is Reece Jeffers, my small sister.

It's been exactly four months since Dad's gone and one month since Mommy passed away.

Is fate having exact counts on my loved ones' departure? Yes, it does. What did We do to get such a fucking life?

Oh, I shouldn't swear. I promised Reece that I wouldn't swear anymore. Dammit.

Fuck. Why would all these happen in my senior year? It was supposed to be filled with parties, prom, and graduation. No deaths, deaths, and more deaths.

But it is what it is.

I cannot make any changes with the past of mine and Reece's. We have to move on. We really should. But how many children come out of their father's death, especially girls, quickly?

Added to that what would they do if their only hope, their mommy dies eventually too?

I've been cursed.

I've thought of a hundred ways to end this misery. Once and for all, the childish, caring, and needy face of my little sister made me regret my decision. I have to be there for her. I have to live for her.

Two weeks ago, my mother's little brother, Uncle Raffle, made efforts to adopt us. Such a huge heart is not been blessed with children. Not to mention his very sweet wife.

It is also a chance to start fresh. I know I can't just erase my dam life and start over just like that, forgetting all the memories with them.

But I cannot always, carry them to places. I need to give them rest. I just need to.

Reece, unlike me, has grown to accept the change. She is so much different from me. She is fresh, optimistic, and full of mirth, filled with blooming ideas.

She said that she had to be there to take care of me. She said that she had to take care of me.

An eighteen-year-old who needs to be looked after by her little sister. It's just how pathetic I am right now. Repeating the fact, won't make it false

I keep repeating the scenarios wherein my parents were alive and we were happy. But there are no odds in favor. I know that too.

So yeah, she pretty much preferred to move to their place. And I just nodded my face just like I did when I heard my mom and dad were just gone.

I also packed all of my stuff and Reece's. Unlike me, again, Reece's got a pack of friends she needs to say goodbye to. Also Unlike me, she has a very loyal and lenient boyfriend, who'd never leave her side.

Dammit. Why do I have to think of him? He... Is such a butthole. How could he think of another girl, when I was scattered to pieces by the departure of my father? I was broken, cursed, and living dead.

Three years. Three fucking years. I've been with him. He betrayed me like everyone did. He cheated on me with my ex- best friend. He proclaimed it was sorrow in the death of my father.

Just I don't wanna talk about it. Take deep breaths, pearl. Deep breaths.

Mom said these words to me, when. I have episodes of Father with me. Our first ride, our wedding, our first campfire.

Deep breaths, deep breaths.

It's almost time for me to leave, Denver Valley, the place where I was born, Reece was born, and Dad was born.

I hope it is for the best and I wish to less think about them and him.

***

Author's POV:

"Pearl, they are almost here, come on." Reece's dominant voice echoed through the emptied room of the Jefferson's house.

The elders, especially Mr.Jefferson, the grandpa wanted to keep the house. Not because he wanted to have the memories of his son, but because it was his first house. Out of fifty damn houses he owned.

Fortunately, their dad had deposited half of the heritage to Pearlin before he passed away. She can go to the school of her wishes and live her life.

But, that was not until seven months from now. She is still in the senior class. When she graduates, the money's all hers.

Our pearl doesn't seem to give a damn about money. At all.