The flute amidst a sea of flowers

Vigilant Yaksha

War. Blood. Death. Sufferance. Torture.

These five words. All I could think of are these five words. The words I constantly hear in my head. Words that can no longer describe humanity. Words that are tormenting me as I fight off monsters. I wonder how I manage to live. I no longer remember since when did I got used to this lifestyle. Was I surviving each day by hearing these words. But. I know that these words are what keeps me alive. I could not imagine a world without these words. Maybe I was too used torturing myself with these words. Am I relying to these words as my sole way of still living. Do I still have attachments to living. I don't know anymore...

"Xiao"
"Xiao!"
"Xiao! Snap out of it!"
"Who?"
"Me, Aether! Are you ok? You don't seem fine."

Blonde hair and shiny golden eyes. I don't understand. Those eyes seems to be full of light. I'm curious of how you can see the world with those two pair of eyes. No. That would be impossible. I've already chosen my own path. There's no such time for mortal desires.

"Sorry, it seems my demonic karma has taken possession again. It would be best if you don't come closer."
"You sure?"
"I don't need mortals to worry about me when they can't even protect themselves."
"Ok, if you say so. Then, I'll be going. I'll visit Wangshu Inn when I have free time. I hope I can visit you, you know..."
"I don't mind having one company over the days. Well then, take care and if you cannot bring yourself to kill, speak my name."
"Thanks! Next time, I'll bring some almond tofu."

The blonde haired traveler ran off until not a single strand of hair was seen. The sound of footsteps slowly faded away until silence took place. Night has slowly come close and the view from Wangshu Inn was as splendid as it is. It was very different from Liyue. Liyue was more lively and people would go out and have night walks and small food stands would fill the whole port. The bustling and people's laughters resonating through the whole city were things Xiao disliked the most. He could not commit himself to such lifestyle as he prefers to be on his own. His duty was always to protect Liyue and he wouldn't have time for such things. On the other hand, Wangshu Inn was a very quiet place and not many people stayed for longer than a couple of days as most guests were merchants and traders. It is also very pleasing to see the view on top of Wangshu Inn. The view of the starry sky and the feel of the gentle breeze are things that give off a very mesmerizing feeling. Warm yet cold.

When night comes, it can only mean one thing. Xiao's demonic karma tends to go rampage at the time the sun has set down.  It was the perfect moment for Xiao to unleash his inner demonic karma. As he wishes for no mortals to see his ugly side. It could cause big trouble if one saw his demonic possession. Xiao has endured the pain and the slow burning torture of the demonic karma slowly eating him from inside out that he no longer wants things to get in his way.

Humans are weak. I've seen countless of mortals dying so easily like a fragile glass. I don't understand how humans can still have the will to live when they can barely survive in the wild. I've saved countless of lives, but is it enough to pay off for what I have done. I can't seem to remember the numbers of families I've slaughtered with these two hands. I've killed to many that I could feel their blood on my hands every day. A sudden voice took possession in my mind. It must be the demonic karma's doing. Nevertheless, I was used to hear his stupid voice calling out memories I do not wish to recall.

Wouldn't it be better if you unleashed your inner darkness?
"Shut up!"
Just like old times. Oh I remember that's how your friends were killed right?
"Shut up!"
I know you want to kill. I know your deepest desire."
"I don't have such desire!"
Don't deny it. Look, these hands are made for killing. It would be a waste to not use them.
"Shut the fuck up!"

___________________________________________________________________________

It seems I was in a deep slumber or so I think. I can't remember what happened yesterday. The last thing I recalled was fighting against demons. It's no time for sleep. I need to get up. As I opened my eyes, I saw Morax sitting beside me drinking tea.

"Oh. You're finally awake."
"Urgh...why am I here?"
"Seems you don't recall what happened yesterday."

Black brown heir and golden sun-like eyes. The same eyes that saved my soul. I could still recall that time when Morax asked me what I wanted to do next after he had released me from the palms of the previous god I was serving. He had the same serious face. I would never forget that face. The face of my saviour.

"What happened yesterday? Sorry I can't seem to recall anything."
"It seems your demonic karma took possession of your body and went rampage."
"It was lucky that I could have sensed your demonic karma or you could've destroy everything in your way."
"Sorry for my lack of strength. I caused you trouble and I'm ready to pay you back."
"No need. Here, take these suppressing pills."
"These?"
"If you eat one each day you can suppress a bit of your demonic karma."
"I do not need such mortal medication. I can handle this all on my own. I will find a-"
"No don't. This is an order. As said in the contract, under my wing you are to protect Liyue not destroying and go rampage on day as it could destroy Liyue."
"Whatever."
"Then take care as I must go take care of some business. If ever you have something to report, I'll be absent as a dear old friend of mine will be visiting. Ganyu will always be here if ever something urgent came up. Then I'll take my live."

Just before leaving. Morax took a sip of his tea and gently looked at me before disappearing from my sight. I stared at the bottle of pills as it was poison. I quickly took two pills and immediately swallowed it with water. I could feel the tension between me and my karma. I felt lighter and I no longer had severe headaches. Human medicine is surely very interesting. This reminded me of that zombie child whom I've only seen from afar. I wonder how she is able to live so carefree for years long. I still yet to comprehend mortals such as their culture and ways of living. I have no such interest to invest myself in as I am already born for mass destruction. I didn't have a childhood to recall for. All I was taught for was war and bloodshed. Since the very beginning I was born with a destiny already made for me. I have imagine life born as a normal person but this seems to wild and impossible. Even the slightest thought was not imaginable.

As I look outside the bedroom window, the sun have begun to settle. I pick up my jade spear and went out of Wangshu Inn. Just like any other days I went off killing suspicious intruders and demons lusting for blood. As soon I've killed hundredth of monsters, I look up in the sky revealing it's beautiful scenery. The full moon shone brighter than ever. Rain suddenly pouring down on my face as I close my eyes feeling the raindrops. Drenched in the mix of blood and water was something common for me. I just wished the awful scene of blood could be washed out as dead bodies lays around me. Am I ever getting forgiven of my sins? As I thought of this question, raindrops slowly crawled down my face and hair drenched wet, I could hear the fearsome screams from the people I've killed. Taunting me everyday.

The rain stopped and the sun was about to come out. That day, I stayed longer than any day, mesmerized by the sunrise and fazed by the sunlight drying my drenched clothe. Yet again I couldn't get bored by the sunrise shining as bright as that one blonde's eyes. I turned by back towards it and went back to the Inn.