An impossible Love

Chapter 42 - Revelation

It's been several days since I returned home, I'm busy protecting my vines by installing braziers to prevent everything from freezing due to the weather. It's now the afternoon and I'm finally settling in to relax in one of my lounges for a nice cup of tea. Millie wrote the letter as planned and warned me that as soon as she had an answer she would come back to me to explain what I should do. I feel a bit nervous but I try to keep my cool. This is not the time to crack under pressure, I know I can do a lot of things and I don't doubt myself.

Suddenly I hear a knock on the living room door and I see Barbara enter with a smile on her face. "My lady, there is your mother in the hall who wishes to see you."

My mother? she said she would come to see me but I wouldn't think she would be here so soon after our last meeting. I smile at Barbara and reply. "Tell her to come up and join me, thank you."

I wait a few minutes and see my mother arrive, I stand up and hug her as I feel her hands rubbing my back, she says in my ear. "I'm glad to see you, Daughter, your father isn't here today so I thought coming to see you would be a good idea."

I giggle and back away before nodding. "You did well mother, would you like a cup of tea?"

She shakes her head and settles down on the couch before sighing. I settle down next to her and place my hand over hers before looking intently at her and asking. "Are you okay?"

She nods and tells me in a calm tone, "Yes it's okay, I talked to your dad after the party the other day. Luckily, Oliver left quickly after you left."

I hum and tell her. "Did you believe my story at the dance? I mean he was the one who tried to force me and hit me, Millie made him leave her property afterwards, and she took care of me."

My mother looks at me and I see a malicious smile forming on her lips. "You seem to like her a lot, the countess, it looks like you spend a lot of time together, that's a good thing. She makes you happy and I'm glad."

I feel a little nervous in the moment and respond by avoiding her gaze. "Yeah, she's really nice and I like her personality."

My mother lifts my chin with her fingers. "You know, I remember how you two looked at each other at Richard Elsie's funeral, it's something that doesn't deceive."

Panic suddenly takes hold of me, what does she mean by that? How could she possibly know anything? No, she couldn't. I don't want to believe it. I shake my head vigorously and answer my mother. "I mean yes, we look at each other like two close friends would, nothing more."

What's strange is that at that time, during the burial, I wasn't even sure if I liked Millie even more as a friend, so how could my mother have already sensed this ?

She gets closer to me on the couch and takes my hands, which are slightly shaking, before continuing to tell me in a reassuring tone. "Elsie, tell me the truth, is this what I think it is ? Do you love this woman?"

My face must be livid, I don't even know how to react in a situation like this. She has guessed the relationship I have with Millie so easily, I look down and sigh, tears streaming down my face, is my world about to fall apart already? I finally say. "I, I, I don't know what to say."

I shudder and my mother comes over and wipes the tears from my face before whispering in my ear. "Elsie, you know I only want you to be happy? If you feel happy having a relationship with the countess, I don't mind, I won't tell anyone let alone your father, you can trust me, okay?"

She finishes her sentence by kissing my head gently and I close my eyes. I never thought my mother would be so understanding with all of this, I sigh in relief and look into her eyes with my lips still trembling before asking her. "Is that true mum? You will keep our secret ?"

She smiles at me as she strokes my hair gently and speaks. "Of course, you can count on me, I won't tell anyone, you are my daughter, I will never betray you because you are in love with another woman."

I love my mother so much, she is so important to me, and knowing that she accepts the love I share with Millie is a huge relief but a thought crosses my mind and I ask her. "You're a churchgoer though Mother, I mean, church teachings strictly forbid this kind of relationship, you know that, so why don't you seem angry at least?"

She takes a deep breath and looks me in the eye. "Elsie, I haven't believed in God for a long time, your father makes my life miserable every day, no matter how much I pray every night for him to change, to become a better man, nothing changes. I still go to church because he still goes to church, it's as simple as that."

So my mother is not really different from me, she doesn't believe in God either whereas I was convinced otherwise. She's not so different from me and that reassures me as I bury my head in her shoulders and feel her hands on the back of my neck for reassurance.

She continues to talk. "When you were younger I noticed that you were never particularly attracted to boys, I remember one of them, his parents knew your father and from time to time their family would come to eat at our house. One day when we were playing in the yard, I saw that he wanted to kiss you on the cheek, but you pushed him to the ground. You were young, I think you were 9 years old. I didn't come to any conclusion but even when you grew up you didn't really change, then your father got you married to Richard and we all know the rest."

I never really noticed any of this from my point of view, I know that before Millie I had never fallen in love, but at the time I just thought that the boys I met just didn't appeal to me and that one day I would meet a man I liked. It seems I was wrong, but who better to notice such details in her daughter than a mother?

She continues to stroke my hair and whispers to me. "Is it better now, Elsie? I don't want to see you cry, okay? You don't want to show me the cellar with your wines maybe?"

I nod and my mother kisses my head one last time before getting up.

Everything went better than expected and I feel a weight lift off my shoulders, the question is, should I tell Millie? Maybe later...