Sober

Chapter 35

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am

______

He doesn’t know how long he has been staring at the main door of their house, but he’s just literally there for some minute now, in his wheelchair, staring at where he last saw his wife and recalling the event that took place there. It’s been four days— almost a week since that horrible fight. Since he put her in a pit of pain and torment. And it’s also been that long since he heard a news from her.

He basically doesn’t know where Lea is at this point.

He tried calling and texting her every minute of every day, hoping to get a hold of her and to be able to apologize, but it seemed like her phone has lost its function since then. A series of chastisement from his father-in-law was all he got when he told him that his daughter has been nowhere to be found for days now; to which he really couldn’t blame Leo for. It’s inevitable for him to be worried and bothered with his daughter’s sudden disappearance knowing her history. Not that they’re judging Lea, they are just scared that what happened to them might give her a tendency to go back to that phase again.

But he wants to believe that she won’t even dare. It’s been so long; she completely got herself out of her addiction. She’s been very successful since then, there’s no way she’d choose to go back to what destroyed her life.

He trusts her.

But if he truly does, will Lea even be missing in the first place?

He also contacted her closest friends but even them had suddenly lost contact with Lea. He also called her work to know if she’s been showing up to the practice but Regine only told him that, three days ago, she called to formally file an indefinite period of leave of absence. Nothing else than that.

Has she eaten? Is she in a good place right now? Is she okay? He’d ask himself those things every day. He wondered where she is staying and who is she with; if she’s getting good sleep or what she’s been doing lately. It’s making him extremely worried to know nothing about his wife’s current whereabouts, but everytime he’d remember why she walked away— why she’s been missing for days now, he would stop wondering as he’d remember that he caused all of this. It’s all because of him why Lea decided to leave.

He vividly remembers it too well. How her face turned into a canvas of misery and how her broken voice and continuous sobs went in to his ears and eventually shattered his heart. It’s funny how he has been so careful not to make her cry a single tear in their marriage yet, at that very moment, he made her leak uncontrollable tears. It’s funny how he ought to himself that he'll always be gentle with her and not let her experience any amount of pain, yet, that day, he did the exact opposite thing.

He put her through something he once promised to save her from. And he feels so horrible, terrible... just inhumane of him to ruin his own wife like that. He knows she’s not feeling okay after that fight, but he hopes she’s still taking care of her physical being, at least. Because if something bad happens to Lea because of him, he’ll die without forgiving himself because he never will.

“Ian,” his messy and tragic thoughts got interfered with Manang Helen’s entrance. He looked on his side to be able to look at her and asked why. “May bisita ka. Si Aga nandito.”

An almost unnoticeable frown got drawn in his forehead upon hearing his name, wondering what is he doing here. Then he realized, it must have something to do with their kids. That thought made him sigh. Aya and Sky might already be wondering where their Mom is right now— well, all of them is wondering as to where she is right now.