Leave a light on

4

Meredith was resting on the bed while the kids showed her the card they made earlier in daycare. Derek brought them to Meredith's room for lunch. She hasn't been eating much and he hopes the kids will distract her.

"Mommy, look! It's us playing basketball!" Bailey explained to her

"I absolutely love it" She said, her voice quiet as she was exhausted from PT that morning. They showed her all kinds of exercises to clean her lungs and treat them as best as possible.

"Bailey talked to me about the house.." Derek started

"Hmm?"

"We.. We should consider moving-"

"No" Meredith said

"Mer, if something happens it takes way too long to get to the hospital"

"No, Derek. I'm not leaving... our house for... this" She said, clearly getting out of breath

"Mer, calm down"

"No! I.. I.." She said as she moved her hand towards her chest.

The kids got concerned but Derek moved over to grab the oxygen mask and placed it on her face after removing her nasal cannula.

"Mommy?" Ellis asked as tears escaped her eyes

Meredith's eyes started to fill with tears too and she opened her arms, allowing her kids to snuggle against her

They kept laying there for a couple of minutes before the kids got out and started playing in the corner of the big VIP room.

"Mer, your food" Derek gently pointed out

"Not hungry" She sighed before her eyes started drooping again

Derek decided to let it go for now. He would try again once she woke up again.

"Daddy, do you wanna play with us?" Bailey asked

"Of course" Derek smiled and sat with them, watching them play

"No, Bailey!" Ellis yelled

"Shh, don't wake mommy up" Derek told them

"Sorry" Ellis said with a small voice

"I'm not mad, just telling you" He smiled at the little girl

"Is mommy gonna stay with us?" Ellis asked

"Of course, Ellie. Your mommy will just stay here for a little bit and then she'll be home again with us" Derek told them as all kids were carefully listening

"Gabby's grandpa stayed in the hospital and then he was gone, she said he went to heaven" Bailey said

"Mommy isn't going to heaven, is she daddy?" The little girl asked as her lip started shivering

"No, the doctors will do everything they can for mommy so she can stay with us for many more years" Derek gave them a sad smile, knowing that Meredith had a 50/50 chance to get through this. It would all depend how soon she would need new lungs and then it would all depend on how soon they can find new lungs for her.

The kids nodded and started playing again. Zola scooted closer to her dad and laid her head on his side. He wrapped his arm around his oldest daughter and rubbed her arm

...

"Derek, we have to wake her up" Miranda said as she entered the room a bit later with Teddy, Maggie and Richard

"Is everything okay?" He asked

"Jo and Alex are on their way to take care of the kids" Bailey said

Derek started to worry even more. 'Was something wrong? Was Meredith dying? Was that why the kids had to be out of the room?'

"Relax, we'll discuss it soon" Richard said as he saw Derek's frown

Derek nodded as Jo and Alex walked in.

"Come on, we're gonna go get some ice cream!" Jo said

"I stay here" Alex whispered in Jo's ear and she nodded

"I wanna stay here with mommy" Ellis said

"Come on, Ellie. Go with Jo, please" Derek almost begged

The little girl stood up and went to Meredith's bed. She tried to climb onto it and gave her mom a kiss before she followed Jo. Zola and Bailey did the same and they left

"What's wrong?" Derek immediately asked "I don't wanna wake her if it's bad news"

"Wake her up" Teddy said

"Hmm?" Meredith groaned as she woke up. She made an attempt to sit up but Derek immediately helped her and heightened the headrest. As she sat up, she had to release a few coughs. Derek gave her a tissue to spit out the thick mucus, caused by the poor state of her lungs

"Results?" She asked sleepy

"So it's IPF and it's advanced. Right now your labs show us that you're fighting an infection, that's probably why you even have a harder time. We're starting you on antibiotics right now and at the end of this week we'll see how everything progressed. If your body was able to fight the infection I wanna think about releasing you for the weekend." Teddy said

"How bad.. lungs?" She asked and started wheezing a bit

Maggie placed the oxygen mask on Meredith's face "Pretty bad.. You'll get more infections and eventually.." Maggie couldn't finish and looked around at the other doctors, no one volunteering to fill in the rest

"Eventually your lungs won't be able to hold it and then we'll have to be quick to find new ones. We've already placed you on the transplant list" Richard sighed

Meredith nodded and Derek sat down next to her, holding onto his wife for dear life.

"When?" She asked, trying to hide her emotions but accepting Derek's touch

"In 4 to 8 months" Bailey said, unable to hold her own tears

Meredith nodded again

"We'll give you some time to process this" Richard said and all the doctors left the room. Meredith could hear Alex slamming his fist onto the nurses station while Maggie started crying on Winston, who was waiting outside of the room, his chest.

Meredith and Derek sat there in silence. Neither of them knowing what to say, just holding each other was the only thing that felt 'right'

AN // Here you go! I started a new story "Slipping trough my fingers" Go check it out, please! Hope you all like this one