Pain - A TommyInnit Angst

Chapter 19

'I can't. I can't do it Wil.' Tommy's eyes were brimming with tears. 'I'm so fucking scared. The court case is so soon, and I don't want to put on weight. I don't want to see them Wil, I don't want to have all these fucking memories and food is just too much to handle right now.'

'Tommy, your parents can't hurt you again. This will truly be the last time you see them, and then they're going to be behind bars. They made you stop eating as a way of controlling you, so we need to get you back up to a healthy weight to show them that you're your own person and they can't touch you anymore. Okay?'

Tommy nodded, still prodding at the food with his fork. He hesitantly took a small bite, swallowing it, grimacing as if it were covered in thorns.

'I just don't think I can do it, Wil.'

Wilbur leaned in and hugged him tightly, gently stroking his hair.

(A/N: Please remember: ALL PLATONIC!)

'Tommy, you really fucking scared me.'

'I'm sorry Wil. I really am.' Even Tommy was surprised at how genuine his words were; he had thought that he still wanted to die, but sitting there hugging his big brother, a small part of him felt relieved to be alive.

'I'll go to the residential place. But only for a couple of weeks.'

'Thank you Tommy. I think it'll be good, I really do.'

• • •

Wilbur handed Tommy the bag of clothes he had packed and the boy gratefully received it, giving him a nervous smile. The two of them went, accompanied by a doctor, into the elevator and up to Tommy's new floor.

The doctor led them to a plain but surprisingly nice room; it had a comfy-looking bed, a desk, and white-painted walls with square areas faded where it looked like posters had once hung.

'Make yourself at home, you can do whatever you want in here with decorations as long as it doesn't do any drastic damage.' The doctor said.

'Uh, thanks.' Tommy replied, walking into the room and sitting on the bed. He looked nervously at Wilbur. 'Wil, are you gonna have to go?'

'Yeah, visiting hours end in fifteen minutes. You'll be fine though, Toms.'

Tommy nodded, and for the remaining time that Wilbur had left, they unpacked what little stuff he had.

'I'll come see you tomorrow, okay?'

'Thanks Wil.'

Tommy gripped the edge of the bed in anxiety as he watched Wilbur leave his room. The door swung closed and he exhaled nervously. Lying down on the bed, he tried to take in his new surroundings, constantly reminding himself that this was only temporary and he would be able to go back home in a couple of weeks. He looked out of his window and smiled when he saw the clouds; a couple of days ago, he had thought he would never see them again.

Lying there, he felt almost peaceful. However, this didn't last long, as a nurse knocked on his door and entered, announcing to him that it was time for group activities to begin. He sighed, following the nurse down to the communal area, where other teenagers sat, looking equally as fed up as he felt. He awkwardly sat down alone at a table, grimacing as he thought about how similar this felt to the days when he still ate at school, when nobody would sit next to him in the cafeteria. However, just as this thought crossed his mind, a lanky boy with a mop of black hair sat down next to him. Tommy jumped slightly at the sudden movement, and sat frozen for a second, unsure of what to do or say.

'Hey bro, you're new here right?' The boy asked.

'Uh yeah. I, uh, I'm Tommy.' He replied quietly.

'I'm Matt. How long you here for?' Matt had taken a handful of coloured pencils and begun drawing on his paper.

'Hopefully like two weeks?'

'Lucky. I've been here for six months now.' Matt let out a forced laugh. He turned to look at Tommy, brushing his hair out of his eyes. 'You gotta draw something. Say it represents the "inner happiness" you're striving for or some bullshit like that, then they're more likely to let you out sooner.'

'Uh, thanks.' Matt passed Tommy a couple of pencils and he began scribbling lines on the paper. He turned around to look at the other kids, and saw a couple of boys being scolded by a nurse for using their paper and pencils to play a game of hangman. He stifled a laugh and turned back around, noticing that Matt had also turned around and was smirking.

'Yeah,' Matt chuckled, 'They don't like hangman here.'

Tommy smiled at him, before continuing to work on his drawing.

After the group drawing activity had finished, everyone was allowed to go back to their rooms. Walking back, Tommy and Matt discovered that they were walking in the same direction and laughed when they discovered that their rooms were on neighbouring corridors. They finally turned and went in opposite directions to get to their rooms and Tommy, exhausted, collapsed on his bed and succumbed to sleep.