War in Broadway High

1. Ready, Set, Not Yet

Chapter 1: Ready, Set, Not Yet

Evan.

Dear Evan Hansen, today's going to be an amazing day, and here's why.

The text cursor blinked expectantly. Pressuring him.

Because today...

Today what? Would be another day to overthink every little thing? To feel ignored and unseen, even though at the same time it seems like everyone is staring at him waiting for the inevitable moment he messes something up? To have trouble listening to conversations or lectures because the beating of his own heart is too loud in his ears, ringing at the rhythm of his fast short breaths?

No, stay positive... it's what the doctor said, it's what your mom wants.

All you have to do is just be yourself. But also confident, that's important. And interesting, like, easy to talk to, approachable. But mostly be yourself, that's the big like- like that's number one. Be yourself. Also don't worry about your hands getting sweaty for no reason...

The boy kept writing, and even though it was supposed to help, he just kept finding more and more reasons why this wouldn't be such an amazing day. But the first day of school should be awesome. Because if it wasn't, what would the rest of the year look like...?

Before he found the answer to that question, his mom walked in, some crumbled bills in her hand.

"So you just decided not to eat last night?"

Evan looked over, his hands fidgeting.

"I wasn't hungry."

"You're a senior in High School, Evan, you need to be able to order food for yourself, you could even do it through an app now..."

He just sighed, not even wanting to bother explaining that he would still have to answer the door, and wait for the change, and how excruciatingly difficult that was. She wouldn't understand. The woman peeked at the laptop's screen.

"Oh you've been writing those letters to yourself?"

Evan quickly closed the laptop, nodding. He started getting ready for class, putting his shoes on.

"I started one, I'll finish it at school," he mumbled.

"Good! Those letters are important, honey! You can tell Doctor Sherman all about it this afternoon...and hey, I know! You can go around today and ask the other kids to sign your cast!"

He looked over at his covered broken arm, the white space a clean slate reminding him how empty his social life was. But maybe he could change that today. He forced a smile towards his mom.

"Perfect."

"I'm proud of you already!"

The boy gulped down his morning pills with the glass of water on his bedside table, said goodbye, and rushed to catch the bus, even though it was still early. But he didn't want to be late and seem like he was a mess, or get sweaty, or miss the first bell, then again being too early could also be awkward and...

His mom sighed and watched him go with a tired, but hopeful, smile.

Jeremy.

C-c-c c'mon c-c-c- c'mon, go go!

Jeremy groaned, half asleep, at the sound of his alarm. Not fully awake, his hand blindly reached out to try and find his phone to turn it off.

C-c-c c'mon c-c-c- c'mon, go go!