"Me, Pheebs, and Mercedes went to the dentist and had a Brittany dream too."
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Christopher Cross Mr. Shue wrote across the whiteboard as the teens groaned at the name, "All right, who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?"
"He discovered America," Brittany answered dubiously as the rest of the glee club gave her baffled looks. "Close. He did write an iconic chart-topper Sailing."
"I'd rather learn about the one Britt was talking about" Phoebe mumbled earning giggles from Quinn.
"I have a bad feeling about this lesson." Kurt whispered to Phoebe who nodded in response.
"Never heard of him, don't want to hear about him." Tina said the rest of the glee club agreeing in murmurs.
Mr. Shue, ignoring the unenthusiastic teens continued, "Now some people think of the term Easy Listening as a bad thing. But I'm going to let this music speak for itself. You guys love Lady Gaga and the Rolling Stones... and you guys are really good about putting it all out there. But really good music can also be controlled, and restrained. It doesn't have to attack an audience, it can let them come to you." Mr. Shue finished, beginning to hand out music sheets.
Finn, after reading the sheets asked confused, "How could you get caught between the moon and New York City? They're like a hundred miles apart."
"Mr. Schue? If I may." Kurt asked raising his hand, "I think I speak for all of us when I say it's not that we don't love the idea of spending a week on this silky smooth Adult Contemporary, it's just that, as teens, this isn't the easiest music for us to relate to. However, there is a burgeoning Facebook campaign that has swelled to over five members. The ardent demand: That this week, at the fall homecoming assembly, the McKinley High School Glee Club performs a number by... Wait for it...Ms. Britney Spears." Earning claps and whoops of agreement, especially from Phoebe who adored the singer.
"Sorry, Kurt, Kurt, sorry. No, no, no. I don't think she's a very good role model."
"But, Mr. Schue, we kind of grew of up with her." Rachel complained with the rest of the teens.
"She's literally why I wanted to become a performer."
"I don't want to do Britney." The blonde cheerios whispered.
"Why no Britney, Brittany?"
The girl only sighed answering quietly, "Because my name is also Brittany Spears." Earning looks of confusion from across the room.
"What the hell is she talking about?"
"My middle name is Susan, my last name is Pierce." Brittany continued, "That makes me Brittany S. Pierce. "Brittany Spierce." I've lived my entire life in Britney Spear's shadow. I will never be as talented or as famous. I hope you'll all respect that I want Glee Club to remain a place where I, Brittany S. Pierce, can escape the torment of Britney Spears."
