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Chapter Thirty Two

Honestly, I'm over this and the drama.

Bangi returns with a mannequin who then explains what happened here to me once again, but I'm not really paying attention. The mannequins assist each other, bringing the stuff into our home, placing them in the guestroom downstairs. All the weaves she's managed to accumulate over the past few weeks of her 'hustle' are right there too, damaged beyond anything. One of the plastics had papers in it. Are these the papers she stole? Written in huge red letters the words 'Whore', 'Liar' and plenty of other names that I've never even uttered right under the sun.

How much more things have been damaged? I pull out a dress. A red number. Damaged. Burned at the bottom. Wow. I put it back, the fiery smell daunting on me.

I leave the room and close the door behind me, searching for my man. When I finally find him in the kitchen I walk up to him, finding my seat on a highchair. "Pizza?"
"I'll have a slice." I say and watch him take the box of the leftover pizza before turning on the oven. He takes the pizza and puts it in a baking tray before shoving it into the oven.

"I'm sorry about Zonke my love." He breathes out. I shake my head.
"You don't have to apologize about anything you didn't have a hand in. I'm just frustrated at how I can't just ignore her and not feel what I'm feeling inside. She hates my guts and I'm here crying my eyeballs out for her."

He makes his way around the island and stands in front of me, pulling me to him for a tight hug. I hug his torso, taking in his scent shutting my eyes. I was still tired and I knew for sure I was going to take a nap after eating.

"We're not all the same. You're not heartless."
"Hayi."
"Some hearts are naturally beautiful Sthandwa sam. They pump blood and love, not amaJeans or jealousy or even unsuccessful schemes that only drag you down," he says and pecks my temple. "Let me check on the pizza."

He only takes it out after another three minutes and it was perfect to nibble on. We ate over a light conversation and I then retreated to bed where I managed to fall asleep in a matter of minutes.

•••

'Ungavumi.' She repeats looking at the far distance not really bothered to turn even with all my requests.

'Ngingavumi? Ngingavumi ini ma?' I ask, suddenly shifting off into an opposite direction. It's dark. Quiet ...until a tap-tap sound echoes from somewhere. 'Mama?'

'Ungavumi.'

I search for her everywhere but fail to find her anywhere in this pitch black room. I search the highs and the lows, my body manoeuvering quite easily in here until I'm stopped by a red fiery ball of light which quickly turns into the shape of my beads. The ones on my arm. Heat. That's what I feel next before once again my body moves away from these hot beads back to where my mother stood gazing at the peaceful ocean waves.

'Ungavumi Wezanokuhle...'

I'm pulled back, my eyes opening to a somewhat bright room. The air calm and the rain hitting softly on the windows not so far from me.

"Ngingavumi?" I mumble to myself and reach for my phone from my bedside table, marveling at how late it actually was. 13h03 to be exact. The time I'd usually spend watching TV or a movie with Bangi if he was around. A time I should really start thinking clearly about how I want to spend it cause just sitting here and ass-farting was not it. I miss being busy with something I could call 'my own'.