The Plot II

Heartbreak Anniversary

Veronica

I sat in the car tapping my fingers against the wheel. My eyes slowly went from the iPad to the time on the dash. Almost 3 am. I patted around for my coke baggie. I used the end of a credit card to hold the coke and inhaled it sharply. I dug into the bag twice more before closing the baggie and dropping the card. 

I exhaled slowly while watching the city around me. It was a nice summer night, the streets were alive. I exhaled as I picked the iPad up and tapped the button. Still dead. I had been sitting in the car for about an hour waiting for the iPad to turn back on. At this point I had completed every round. I was on the last level. As crazy as it sounds I felt like this was the last thing that was keeping me away from my daughter. My head was everywhere. As much as I thought I was insane the cocaine made me feel like this was actually real. 

My eyes darted to my phone as it rang. I picked it up and looked at the screen. Tory. I contemplated whether I should answer the Facetime or not. As much as I didn't want too I found myself sliding the bar right. 

"Yo" He said smiling into the phone. 

"Hi, where you going?" I said. It looked like he was getting into a car.

"I just got back into the city. I'm coming where ever you at. I miss you like crazy man, as a man I'm sorry that I ever did that lame shit to you. I love you and the girls more than life. We shouldn't be divided right now. I need to talk to you. My head ain't even been right bro. I'm lost without yall" He said. You can tell he was genuine. I knew that man like the back of my hand.

"I need to talk to you as soon as possible. I have to tell you everything" I gushed as I started to cry. We agreed to meet at the house as soon as possible and hung up.

I sped all the way to my apartment and ran inside. I felt so exposed and unsafe. I hadn't felt this way in so long. When I was with Tory I always felt untouchable. I placed my baggie on top of the fridge and got a pot out to make tea. 

Hearing the front door unlock sent a chill down my spine. His cologne hit my nose before I could even see him. He turned around the corner and gave me a wide smile and said "hey"

My shoulders dropped before crying. I was apologizing for everything inbetween sobs. He pulled me into a hug and cried into my neck. We stood there really staying in the moment. We cried we apologized, we even kissed a few times.  Every thought I ever had about hating him disappeared. I hadn't felt this warm in months. I felt like a part of myself came back to me.

He sat me down on the couch and went to fix my tea. He handed me a cup and stared down at me. "What are you looking at," I said looking up from my cup. I gave him a screwed face causing him to laugh. 

"Nothing man, I can't look at you now? You just had a nigga crying, spilling his soul out to you and now I can't even look at you?" He said licking his lips with a smile on his face. 

"I needed to hear that though. I feel so shitty, I hate myself so bad. It feels better to know one less person hates me" I said tearing up again. It was true, I did hate myself.

"Yo, I don't ever want you to say that again nigga. You don't even know how everybody want to find Journei. Nobody is blaming you for nothin' baby. We were barely getting sleep, the babies were rowdy." He said sniffling 

"We fucked up mama, us, both of us. We're new parents and shit.  I feel fucked up because I should've been there. Word to my motha' I feel fucked up as a man bro. I didn't hold my family down and that's on me. I'm was feeling mad lost for a minute, I'm not gone lie. I'm in the field already on my dead"