Being Alive [Charlie Barber]

Chapter 15 : For Us

(Warnings: This chapter includes a brief scene where sexual acts occur without consent. It's not what I'd consider graphic/detailed and it doesn't last long but please message me if you would feel more comfortable getting specific info before you start reading because I understand how upsetting this can be!) 

    You weren't sure what the healthiest coping mechanism was while witnessing the man you were falling for, enjoying time with his wife, right in front of you. But you assumed that drinking copious amounts of liquor wasn't the solution.

    Oops.

    "Another one?" Kyle grinned, pushing one of the refilled drinks towards you. You didn't exactly enjoy the young actor who was insistent on getting your attention since you began working with Exit Ghost, but you also didn't enjoy sitting by yourself. So, he would just have to do.

    The buzzing in your head helped you find his lame jokes and slightly too touchy gestures at least a little bit amusing. But you were still distracted because you were aware that only several feet away, Charlie was with Nicole.

    You weren't the only one who had their mind in other places. Charlie was currently talking to a few of the crew members (and Nicole) about the upcoming show but all he could think about was you. Every time that someone wasn't directly speaking to him, his eyes went to you, just for a brief moment, before going back to the conversation.

    He'd been interrupted before by Nicole showing up and he hadn't been able to tell you everything that he planned to. It was like an itch he couldn't scratch, he had an urge to go over and finish his thoughts and talk them through with you. But he couldn't right now and it was almost the biggest thing driving him crazy

    Almost because the actual biggest issue at the moment was Kyle and the way he was buying you drink after drink and wrapping his arm around the back of your chair. As hypocritical as he knew it was, Charlie was sick with jealousy. And concern. He'd seen you drunk before, the first time that everyone went to happy hour, but he'd never seen you drink this much.

    As jealous as he was, Charlie was even more concerned and protective.

    "They'd be cute together, wouldn't they? I wonder if she's interested in him." Nicole commented, referring to you and Kyle. From an outsider's perspective, perhaps the two of you were cute together. You were beautiful and Kyle was handsome, you were close to each other in age, and you had similar interests in the theater.

    You and Kyle made a lot more sense than you and Charlie did.

    This dawned on Charlie as he watched the two of you interact with each other. You were far too smart for Kyle, he was aware of that, but at least he could be with you openly. You wouldn't feel guilty every time you two were together and you wouldn't have to hide. You deserved that, at the very least.

    "I wonder." Charlie agreed with Nicole in a casual tone, trying to act like the thought of you and another man together didn't make his stomach turn in anger and jealousy.

    He had been living in ignorant bliss with you. You made him feel so good that he never took the time to think about the implications of everything that the two of you did. To say that Charlie felt like an asshole was an understatement.

He was furious with himself for bringing you into the mess that was his life. And he was even more upset with himself for how he allowed himself to fall for you.

    You grimaced as you finished the drink that Kyle had just handed to you. You lost track of how many you had and frankly, you didn't care. Seeing Nicole walk in and greet Charlie made you want to cry and each drink that you sipped on, made it a little easier for you to cope.