𝖬𝗂𝗌𝗌𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝖱𝖾:𝖯𝗈𝗂𝗇𝗍 | 𝖢𝗁𝗈𝗂 𝖡𝖾𝗈𝗆𝗀𝗒𝗎

04 : 𝖢𝗁𝗂𝗅𝖽𝗁𝗈𝗈𝖽 𝖳𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌

[🌌]

58 days.

That was the remainder of my time in this mission.

I stood, leaning against the cold, steel railings of the rooftop. I couldn't sleep. I didn't want to be in the narrow balcony so I thought it would be better if I find my way up here. The city winked a sleepless eye at me as I stared, face tired and weary.

Somewhere in Busan, my family must have been mourning, heartbroken and missing me.

"I'm dead," I silently uttered. "I can't believe that I am."

Is this what afterlife was all about? Either reaching a final verdict or be sent back to a new place on earth for something to prove yourself worthy inside the Kingdom of God? I glanced at my wrist. The numbers shifted. 57 days. It was already midnight.

"What if I don't make it?" I looked up at the star-filled sky. "Will you still consider my trial? Or am I going straight to hell? Two months isn't enough."

I hoped for God's voice to speak back to me. Instead, all I heard were roaring engines and beeps from the cars on the streets. Of course. He would love to see me figure out things on my own. I face this quest alone; and I'll show Him I can conquer it.

My mind transitioned to the idea of Beomgyu.

"Poor guy, still struggling."

Even though he wasn't as edgy these days as he was when we met, I could still sense uneasiness and exhaustion in his being. One could tell from the way his smile would drop after our conversations, his sad eyes darting to the living room clock, as if he couldn't wait for another long day to end, and his constant reminiscence of the good old days, wishing he could bring them back.

How am I going to make him see the beauty of life? How can I make him realize that it is worth living after all?

"I wasn't a positive, cheerful person in nature. I can't lift someone else's spirits. It's not my forte." I rubbed my face. "Oh, God. Why am I doubting myself now? I really don't want to go to hell. I swear, Father, I'm trying."

How does one appreciate things in the dark? How do they find light when they're blinded by their nightmares?

Clang!

I swiftly turned around after hearing the metal door slam. To my surprise, Beomgyu stood there, looking tiny in his puffy sweater. Midnight wind blew softly, ruffling his chestnut hair to the side. He smiled to me. I smiled back.

"It's late," he reminded, approaching me. "Shouldn't you be in your room at this time?"

"I can't sleep. I just went out for some air."