Perks of Acting

Chapter 1

I had recovered from my confused state when my manager snapped me. That is where I was brought to reality. I roamed my gaze around the room and suddenly felt the awkward aura inside the room. I then stopped at the man in front of me. I saw how he was avoiding my gaze that made me question myself. What now? Is he avoiding my existence or he doesn't want my presence?

Fine, then! I'll leave if you don't want to talk to me. The guts of him! He didn't even ask if how I was doing with my life after he left! Or greet me for coming back! I guess he's nothing but words!

I motioned my manager that we should leave which he actually agreed. I stand up from my seat and was ready to walk out the room when a hand managed to grabbed my wrist. I slowly turned my gaze to the man who stopped me and I was shocked to see him looking like he was in fear or he's scared of something.

"A-are you available?" he asked.

"W-what the fuck?!" I cursed when I realized that his question sounded like something else.

"N-no, what I mean is, are you available for lunch?" he nervously asked.

Krist, you fool! Why did I think he would asked for something else. It's already obvious that he had moved on already. He doesn't like me anymore or he didn't even like me even before. Maybe he had just confessed that day because he wants me to be tortured by leaving me confused.

"Krist?" my manager managed me to bring back to reality.

"Ah yes P'. Just tell me WHEN and where." I answered as I outlined the word when. Obviously making him feel guilty by what he had done. That's for not telling me when and when he'll be coming back.

I saw how his eyes widened and his mouth agape. I raised my eyebrow that made him snapped back to reality.

He looked down and rubbed his nape while asking, "Is it okay if we'll have lunch today and at the same restaurant as before?"

"So can we go now?" I asked back.

"I-it's s-still early but we can go there now if you insist. W-we can play games there like what we usually do." he suggested that made me cringe. Yes, we had played games in that resto before but I can't imagine how we will play now, now that there's an awkward gap between us.

"Hey, wave! I am having a lunch with someone. You can go wherever you please." I  shouted at my manager because he is walking too fast. Does he have an appointment?

He just raised his right hand to bid goodbye and entered the elevator. I then moved my gaze on the man asking me for lunch and motioned him to walk first.

As we are about to leave the building, a woman approached us, I mean me, I guess? She suddenly pulled my wrist, so I guess she's approaching me. I turned my gaze on her and realized that it was Namtan.

"Hey Kit! You remember our bet? You lose right?" she asked.

"Yeah, I remember. What about that?" I asked back and I noticed that Singto had stop walking then he walked back and stood beside me, snaking his arm on my waist that made me froze. What is he doing?

I saw how Namtan eyed us and raised her eyebrows.

"I just thought that I have to use it right now. Treat me lunch!" she excitedly said.

I felt how Singto tightened his grip on my waist making me uncomfortable.

"Sure! You can join us!" I answered. I noticed how Singto heave a disappointed sigh as he removed his arm on my waist. What's wrong with him?

We decided that we should take Singto's car since he was the one who invited me. Namtan and I seated on the back seat as the owner drives his car. We traveled on a familiar street.

The street we had walked everyday back then. I felt nostalgia rushed through me as I recall those memories that we had shared. Oh, how I missed this place!

We entered a familiar restaurant and I noticed that it haven't change at all. It's still the same as before. It still manages to comfort me just like the old times.

"Krist! Singto!" shouted by an old man at the cashier table.

"P'Sun!" I shouted back in unison with Singto's voice. We both embraced P'Sun and told him how we missed him.

"Oh such a lucky day! You both came here together! You know Sing, Krist had always visited me but he stopped last year. It was a surprise to see again together!" he giggled.

I was shocked with his sudden story-telling and saw how Singto looked at me with a worried expression.

"Hello P'! I'm Namtan! Krist and Singto's friend!" Namtan suddenly disrupted.

"Hi Namtan! I'm P'Sun. Krist and Singto's wedding organizer." he joked but no one laughed except for Namtan.

I moved my gaze on Singto and saw he was blushing hard. Our eyes met and in that instant I think I saw a glimpse of longing in his eyes but it eventually faded when a fake cough interrupted us.

We both smiled at P'Sun and gave him our orders to change our topic. I ordered the usual and he also ordered what he usually eat back then. Namtan chose lots of viands that I think she won't eat. She'll just take a photo of it and post in her social media accounts. Uh, this girl!

We found a table and sat there to wait for our orders. A few minutes later our food has arrived and looking at my orders made me feel the longing to taste it. It was as if pulling me to eat it. The waiter placed the food on our table and Namtan immediately took photos for all the orders.

"Oh Sing! How are you now? You just came back yesterday, so how's abroad? Your study? You can now work behind cameras, right?" Namtan asked lots of questions  as soon as she was finished taking photos of her orders.

"It's okay. But nothing can overpast Thailand. It's where I was born and my home is here." he answered as he moved his gaze towards me like there's another meaning for his answers.

"Remember our upcoming bl? I would be a main cast and also a co-director." he continued as he returned his gaze on Namtan.

"Oh Yes! The comeback series for the both of you! Im so excited!" she exclaimed as she clapped her hands and smiled widely.

"Krist! Why are you strangely quiet? Back then, you are the loudest. Did you ate something weird this morning? Or are you too excited for your upcoming series?" she teased that made me roll my eyes.

When I had finished my food I excused myself to go to the comfort room.

As I was washing my hands, an arm snaked around my waist that made me startled. I looked at the mirror and saw how Singto looked at me with intense eyes. What the fuck is he doing again?

"Why are you so quiet today? Penny for you thoughts?" he asked as he puts his chin on my shoulder and looks at me lovingly through the mirror. I wanted to escape from his embrace. I wanted to escape from his touch. I wanted to move away but I couldn't. I just can't. His touch, voice and embrace brings me nostalgic comfort that I am afraid to let go.

A tear escaped my eye and he saw it. When I realized that he's looking at me with worried eyes as he tighten his grip, I tried to calm myself. I then faced him with glaring eyes.

"Fuck off and leave me alone!" I exclaimed as I pushed him away with my shattered heart. I left him dumbfounded as I fix myself and faced Namtan with a fake smile when I arrived at our table.

I guessed I have missed him so much that I am getting weak everytime I see him. Everytime he's near, i'll always forget how he left me without explanations, how he left and never had a conversation within that two years. I am full of mixed emotions. Lots of questions are circling my mind. How could I be like this? I already told myself that I had already moved on and I don't have feelings for him anymore but no, I can't prove it everytime I see him. I am so weak when it comes to him. He'll always be my cryptonite that can make me feel weak and at the same time hurt.