Cinnamon Bliss | Seokjin

chapter ii. array

As his chest tightens with guilt, Seokjin tightens his grip on Soojin's hand. All of a sudden, he is overcomes with fear, that he may one day lose her too or perhaps fail her. The feeling seems highly unreasonable at times. But the moment she looks up to him with her bright eyes, the fear keeps growing stronger, and the need to hold her forever and hide her from the world seem to take over him.

"Daddy, can I have extra marshmallows?" she asks him, and he is suddenly overcome with a new need to pray that time would simply stop and he could keep her innocence for as long as he could. But he quickly scoffs at the thought, knowing that it would be impossible for him to stop life from going on.

Raising his brows, he teases his little girl, "Are you sure? You know that you can't have too many sweets cause you'll get too full to eat dinner later." Seokjin forces a smile while he bites his tongue, when he had almost let it slip and said, "Mommy wouldn't like it."

Thankfully, Soojin looks away just in time for the memory to come crashing down on him, so that his little girl would miss the way his eyes are beginning to grow somber. Seokjin had spent many nights crying on his own, hiding his pain from the little girl, and letting her see it now would be the last thing that he has ever wanted, not when she seems so over the moon about having her favourite cinnamon dessert.

The worries that he had gotten ever since the day of his wife's passing still lingers with him. He had envisioned living a long married life, to be able to watch their daughter grow up and then grow old together. Being left as the only parent leaves him with such a huge responsibility that he isn't quite sure he could handle. Oftentimes, he questions himself about the decisions he makes when it comes to himself and his daughter. Having nobody to talk to to the point that he feels hopeless and lost and convinced that he is bound to finally do something wrong as he raises his child on his own.

Shaking himself from his own dark thoughts, Seokjin forces a small smile and listens to his daughter making her own argument about her ability to keep her appetite for dinner with her chin up and her brows creasing hard—just like how her mother would have whenever her stubborn streak would come up. "It's just a little marshmallow, Dad. I won't be too full and I can still have space in my tummy for food. And I'm always still hungry when we get home, so it's going to be okay," she continues to talk as if she is such an adult, and Seokjin has to bite his lips to stop himself from laughing. With her argument done, she looks up to him again, giving him the best puppy eyes she could muster as she pleads, "Please, Dad? Pretty please?"

There is really nothing Seokjin can do but laugh softly at his daughter's antics. Once again, his wife comes to his mind. Except that this time, he wonders what she would have done if she had known that he has been taking Soojin to have some sweets only a few hours before dinner. She would have probably scolded his ear off for spoiling their little girl too much and for ruining her appetite for dinner.

But he always finds it hard to refuse his little girl. And it is not like he has been getting too much trouble with her either. Sometimes she would be too busy talking to eat her favourite buns that he would have to ask for a takeout box and have her finish her sweets or any dessert she has left later on after dinner. And somehow, he had also found that this late afternoon stop for dessert has not only been helping him, but it had been good for Soojin as well.

"Alright, we'll see if Miss ______ can give you some extra marshmallows with your chocolate. But you can only have one, deal?"

Soojin nods her head excitedly, her face brightens up the same way she does every time she hears your name. "Deal."

Right on cue, they finally find themselves standing right in front of the small cafe. "Okay. Here we are."

The bell hanging right at the top of the front door chimes as he pushes his way in, making his entrance known. The warmth and the delicate scent of coffee, cinnamon, and freshly baked bread wash over him and he immediately feels like he is home.