A Million Regrets (KageHina) Kageyama X Hinata

5

"It happened when I was in the third year in middle school. I was the starting setter in volleyball there---"

"Woah, you played volleyball too? Haha, Me too! That's amazing! As expected from you the king!" Hinata disrupted Kageyama right in the start, he's the type that would comment in every paragraph, sentence, and word. Kageyama warns him with his death glare. "O-Okay, okay, you may proceed." He tries to calm the former setter down. He's excited at the fact that they both played volleyball in middle school.

Kageyama is keenly aware that he would start to remember his past and might break down. "I--I was a perfectionist back then since they call me "prodigy" and "genius", I would try my best to seek more improvement and win all matches. I was never a team player, I was different from them but I didn't care about that. All I wanna do is win, so I gave my spikers the best sets that could win the game. But they never keep up with it. I felt guilty, I shouldn't have done that," Kageyama's voice was trembling so Hinata sat back down and moved closer to Kageyama.

"I never thought about what my teammates were thinking about me. All I ever care about was volleyball without even understanding its whole point. They can't bear with my sullen attitude anymore. The last time I played a match in the finals, that's where I toss to them, expecting that hopefully, they'll score, but there was no one. No one was there to spike my toss. It was heartbreaking that I only realized the gap that was between myself and my teammates when I was benched. That's my last memories of playing volleyball. My teammates calling me "King of the Court" because I was so oppressive and numb backfired. It traumatized me, I feel scared that people will despise me and that no one will spike for me, so I... I don't want to play that sport ever again." Kageyama has many reasons, many regrets. But he somehow felt relieved now that he has someone to talk to. It was only one of the reasons he wants to leave this place, but it still gave Hinata so much impact.

"I feel sleepy," Hinata mumbles. He's right beside Kageyama so he heard it.

"Seriously, Hinata?" Kageyama's mood changed. He felt relieved and Hinata was the reason. The atmosphere feels lighter than earlier when Kageyama's telling his regret.

Hinata chuckled, "Man! I really thought that king thing was praise! I didn't expect it to be the complete opposite! Because I wondered why you were so pressed when I called you that, I thought 'why is he so salty about it?' I just teased you a little and you would break down in the ground." He's holding the things wanted to say to Kageyama. How Hinata memorized the things he'll say to Kageyama over and over again because he might forget it, He wants to choose the right words to say to him.

Kageyama on the other hand was expecting some more. He wants to hear Hinata's insights, not just some reactions. "I knew it, Kageyama! You're a good person after all!" Hinata celebrated, Kageyama can't predict what'll Hinata say and do to him afterward. He's--- they both seemed to enjoy this time together.

"What makes you say that? Didn't you hear what I just said? I regret that I was the tyrannical King of the Court!" Kageyama insisted on his regret. Hinata made a thinking posture, "Well yeah, but that was the past right? You regretted your actions already and that makes you a good person, You can't do anything about the past, but you can change yourself for the future. I know that because I believe in you!" Hinata encouraged Kageyama again. Hinata already comforted Kageyama by being with him, Kageyama though, was baffled. He was still contemplating. Regretting it makes him a good person?

"B-But my teammates... hates me," he still protested.

"It's because you've done something that makes them hate you! If you don't want to live with your regrets on your side, you shouldn't bring them with you, nor leave them here. You should finish it right here before you leave." Hinata preached and gave Kageyama advice. It was Kageyama's first time to be fluttered. He's just glued to Hinata, well Hinata's right but Kageyama found this conversation comfortable. Because Hinata is an eloquent person, he chooses the right words to say. He gave Kageyama the answers he's still questioning his whole life.

What if they still hate me?

"So you're saying that I should apologize to them?" Kageyama asked. The park was serene, they can feel the breeze from the wind in the trees and the perfect amount of light from the night sky, the clouds were disappearing, and the moon entered. It was actually Hinata entering Kageyama's life.

"W-Well... It's up to you if that's your way of finishing your regrets. For me, regretting your actions in the past is already fine. You can just move on already and forget about it and make sure that it won't happen again." Hinata advised. It made Kageyama think but gave up easily, "Don't make it sound so easy." He said.

"I'm not rushing, I'm not telling you what to do, because the decision is up to you! It's your regret after all, not mine. I'm just giving you options to do what is right." Hinata said. Kageyama was ecstatic about the whole situation, he realizes that Hinata was tensed up and he looks funny but at the same time, it cheered Kageyama up.

"Since when did you have your words of wisdom?" Kageyama jokingly asks. The moon was evident, he was the sun and the stars, he shines all day, "To be honest, I don't know either! I just felt like Albert Einstein and the words escape from my mouth! It felt like I was being manipulated, but I feel great! I felt like I was superior to you!" Hinata bantered. He lights up the situation with sappy jokes.

"Dumbass," Kageyama gave a slight chuckle to Hinata, "You're ridiculous." He was teasing him, but at the same time, being with him wasn't so bad. It made him feel comfortable.

"We're ridiculous!" Hinata corrected, and laughed. The nights are awesome, it is not that scary. You just have to find the light that could help you overcome the darkness. When Kageyama knew this, he was looking forward to the upcoming nights he'll spend with Hinata.

Hinata would share his regrets and story in the park too, and when they're going home after work, and thereafter.

When they were walking home, Kageyama went closer to Hinata, he is the one interested in hearing his story now. Hinata on the other hand was quiet in times like this, being tired is a reasonable excuse today. "Oi, Hinata..." Kageyama nudged Hinata's shoulder.

"Hmmm?" Hinata responded.

"You said earlier that you played volleyball too," Kageyama actually can't believe that even though they were opposites, they can agree on some things.

Hinata was confused at first, "Wait, did I actually said that? well yes, I used to play volleyball in middle school. But I'm all by myself so I didn't actually continue it in high school. I think I was pretty good at spiking though, it was my specialty!" He was happy telling his little story to Kageyama. "It was hard to find a team so I... I stopped playing it. I wanted to feel teamwork when I play volleyball, but I never got to experience it, stopping it was my regret though, I'm still looking forward to the day that I could play it again..." Hinata was looking at the sky, feeling the breeze, reminiscing the memories of his middle school. Until they get home, Hinata and Kageyama have their regrets in middle school, but different reasons and contrast regrets. Hinata not being able to play volleyball again was his regret, Kageyama doesn't want to play it again because of his regrets.

"Kageyama..." Hinata called him before they go to their separate houses.

"What?"

"Can we play volleyball on Saturday?" Hinata asked for permission, keenly aware that Kageyama doesn't want to play that sport again. Kageyama stood there for a second, he was in his front door, "It's okay if you don't want to... I just... want to feel it again, the ball in the surface of my hands, and the sound it makes as it hits the floor..." Hinata's reasoning made Kageyama remember his volleyball experience. He has a lot of memories in it, both good and bad ones, but he really did miss it too though. The feeling of being the control tower of the team, but when think about it, it just shows his bad memories, he was afraid to play it again.

And that's why you'll never move on! Don't run away from your biggest fear!

"Kageyama?" Hinata is still waiting for Kageyama's response.

"Yeah, let's do it." Kageyama isn't obligated to play because Hinata asked him to, He wants to do it because he wants to conquer his regret because of Hinata. Truly, Hinata's influence will just move you beyond your limits.

Hinata was stunned in his place. He watched as Kageyama enter his house. He stood for like 5 minutes there, but he smiled. Kageyama's answer was more than enough.