youngblood { woosan }

broken hearts

Wooyoung felt high. Sans hand was tightly clutched in his own as he lead him down the street. His lips felt raw and his feet sore, but the heavy beating inside of his chest were worth it.

„Will your friends be mad?" asked San softly.

„Probably. But i don't really care. They're always mad when i do something for myself. San, i don't want to lie to you", Wooyoung turned so he was facing the other, „i don't have the freedom to make decisions for myself like most other people. Actually, my whole life is dictated by my friends or my manager."

San frowned, his thumb gently tracing Wooyoungs fingers. „Your...manager? are you some kind of famous actor or something?" Wooyoung chuckled, but shook his head.

„I'm an idol, my friends are also my group members. We're called ATEEZ." San swallowed heavily at Wooyoungs explanation. Wooyoung felt his heart stop when San dropped his hand. The other stepped a few feet back before looking at Wooyoung again, his eyes shimmering in the city lights surrounding them.

„San?" Wooyoung wanted to reach out, but he stopped himself.

„Let me think about it, okay? i promise, i'll call you tomorrow." Wooyoung nodded dumbly, not sure what to do when San pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his lips and then disappeared behind the next corner, as if he was fleeing from him.

Wooyoung braced himself for the scolding he would recieve the second he stepped into the hotel lobby. And he was right. His manager and his friends were sitting on the expensive leather couches, twirling glasses of red wine in their hands as if they were some kind of movie villain. „Wooyoung." said the manager.

„Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?" Wooyoung shrunk two sizes.

„Who were you with?" asked Seonghwa, raising his eyebrow.

„I was with San." answered Wooyoung.

„Where were you?" asked Hongjoong.

„We were clubbing." answered Wooyoung.

„Are you drunk?" asked Yunho.

„No, i'm not." answered Wooyoung.

„Did anybody recognize you?" asked Jongho.

„No." answered Wooyoung.

„Then why is there a picture of you kissing that waiter all over the internet?" asked Yeosang.

„I'm...wait, what?" screeched Wooyoung in alarm, jumping forward to snatch the phone from their managers hand.

And there it was. A high resolution picture of San and Wooyoung, bodies pressed together and lips locked in a heated kiss. It was a pretty picture, but Wooyoung felt like throwing up. His first kiss had evolved into a nightmare.

„You will not see this boy ever again." their manager hissed. The world around him was spinning, a sea was echoing inside of his ears. Wooyoung felt hot.

„What?! you can't do that!" yelled Wooyoung back.

Their manager huffed, a bitter smile lingering on his lips.

„Yes i can. I'm your manager. I'm here to make sure you have a relaxing vacation and because i gave you too much freedom, you managed to get yourself into a scandal on your second evening here! I have my eyes on you, Wooyoung. I will do my best to sort this mess out, even though i don't know how yet. And now, GO TO BED!"

Wooyoung didn't know what was worse. Being yelled at like a little child, or the way his group members walked past him without looking at him. Even Yeosang didn't spare him a glance, his eyes, once again, on his phone.

He dialed Sans phone number the second he closed his rooms door behind him, praying that the other would pick up, but he didn't have any luck. Tears were streaming down his face. How did this beautiful day go wrong so fast? Wooyoung didn't even bother to change into sleeping clothes, just turned off the lights and went to sleep, ignoring the tiny droplets of water on his face.

Wooyoung didn't dream well that night. He dreamed of multiple scenarios, but the worst was that his group members, his friends, his family only looked at him with hatred in his eyes, because he was the one that ruined their future, the future they had worked so hard for.

Wooyoung wanted to immediately call San again, so he reached out to unlock his phone. He had a text message. With shaky fingers he opened his messenger app.

San: Wooyoung, first of all, thank you for this beautiful night. Kissing you was anything other i'd ever experienced. Are you up?

Wooyoung: We can't see each other again, San. I'm sorry.

Wooyoung didn't bother to type an explanation, the two sentences he was about to send already were enough to rip his heart apart. He locked his phone again. San didn't text back.

On the other end of Berlin, in a tiny apartment, a phone fell to the ground, the screen cracking at the edges of it. San was standing in the middle of his kitchen, a tear rolling down the side of his face. Wooyoungs words kept circling inside his head, the burning pain of rejection cursing through his veins. Wooyoung had done this so easily, had decided for both of them to end it here, to cut him off when San had shown him how vulnerable he could be. Wooyoung had been his first kiss, the first time he ever felt an attraction so strong to another human being that he couldn't control himself. And now, now that person was gone and had taken any spark of happiness with him.

Wooyoung dragged himself into the shower. He must've sat there for about an hour before leaving, if the wrinkly skin of his fingers was any indicator for that. It was already 9 am, but he still didn't feel hungry, at all. He just wanted to crawl into Yeosangs, or even better, Sans arms and ignore the judgmental world outside, but he had hurt San and Yeosang was disappointed with him.

In the end, it was Yunho who came to him first, followed by Seonghwa, Hongjoong and Mingi. They sat down in Wooyoungs hotel room and just watched him. When Wooyoung finally opened his mouth to explain the situation, another knock sounded at the door. Jongho. The youngest came inside, gently nudging Wooyoung before sitting down as well. Yeosang stayed away and the biting feeling inside of Wooyoung grew.

„So, care to explain how you could've been so irresponsible?" asked Seonghwa. Hongjoong rolled his eyes, shoving his boyfriend slightly. Wooyoung was staring at the floor, his still wet fringes hiding his eyes from the invasive looks.

„I didn't mean to", whispered Wooyoung, „it just happened. He has something about him that makes me lose any control i have over myself. I thought that maybe, finally, i met my first love. But it doesn't matter now. I already broke his heart before it could've been mine."

The tears flowed even easier than last night. Seonghwa huffed, but came to sit beside Wooyoung and slung an arm around the younger boys shoulders. Mingi squatted down in front of him, his warm hand a grounding feeling on Wooyoungs knee.

„And now, you're all disappointed in me and manager hyung is upset and i caused a scandal and Yeosang won't speak to me, all of it just because i caught feelings for a boy i met twice." sobbed Wooyoung, his head buried in Seonghwas shoulder, who was carding his fingers through his hair.

„Nobody is disappointed in you, Woo." said Hongjoong.

„We're worried about you, man." huffed Jongho, shrinking back into his seat, a faint blush decorating his chubby cheeks.

„We thought San was a bad influence on you. Suddenly you started to run away or turn your phone off. You never did that before." explained Yunho.

„That wasn't Sans fault!" exclaimed Wooyoung. „I decided to do these things by myself. I never thought that someone could recognize me at the other side of the world."

Yunho nodded, deep in thought as he stood up and softly petted Wooyoungs hair.

„We know you didn't do this on purpose. We'll figure it out okay?" Wooyoung nodded.

„What about Yeosang?" he asked shyly.

Yunho, ever the voice of reason, smiled at him, a calming expression on his gentle face. „Talk to him, okay? we both know Yeosang never stays mad for long. He's bad at expressing his feelings, we all know that, but in the end he's your best friend, Woo. Yeosang loves you. Everything will be fine."