✔︎ With You 'till The End (BKDK Apocalypse)

4: Disbelief in Ones Heart

Katsukis world came crashing down with those words. His movements stilled as he stared at his feet. He knew that was the most likely reason of their sorrowful expressions, he knew that something was wrong when he didn't spot izuku coming in the door, he knew that it had something to do with izuku but he didn't want to believe it. How could he? The boy was right there in front of him a few hours ago so how is it possible that he just disappeared without a word?

He wanted a different answer, he wanted for Shimano to stop looking at him like it's nothing. That Izuku meant nothing when he meant everything to everyone in this bunker. He made it lively, more enjoyable by telling stories or just by being there. He helped around with everything, raised his spirits with his smile and laugh, didn't cause any trouble and now that he finally gets to do something for himself? He's no longer there. It's just not possible.

"Did you see it happen?" Katsuki asked while still looking down on the floor and clenched fists.

"No-"

"Then why the fuck is this door closed if you didn't see him get eaten o-or mashed up to pieces" Katsuki seethed through his teeth.

"Katsuki-"

"NO! You said you would protect him! Y-you said that he would be safe! So why the fuck is he out there and you in here?!" Katsuki yelled as he looked at the curly blond adult in front of him before he felt his arm being grabbed onto, immediately yanking out of the hold and glaring over at his mother before he started yelling at the male again, not noticing the way his voice cracked.

"Did you push him!? Did you use him as fucking bait?! How the fuck do you expect me to believe that he's gone when you three come back with a few scratches?! HOW?!" Katsuki croaked out before he lifted his hands to grip his hair and pull on it.

"I don't know! I don't know what happened out there all I know is that there's something out there and it took hold of Izuku! One minute I was telling him to do something and the next he's gone! I don't know if he's alive but that doesn't mean he is!" The adult shouted back in defense making the blonde look up in boiling rage, launching on the male and pinning him down on the floor.

"What? And that doesn't matter to you?! You just-... up and left because you didn't know what was out there?!" Katsuki shouted at the blonde adult below him, watching as his expression was only stern and it angered him to no end. 

"We searched, Katsuki! and there wasn't any trace of him! the only thing that was left was his gun and that was it. me and Mahoro didn't see where he went except inside a forest and keeping the thing away from us" Shimano spoke, his words softening a little as he looked into Katsukis radiating eyes. He watched as Katsukis expression didn't change at all. 

"You ASSHOLE!" Katsuki shouted as he lifted a fist before he was roughly grabbed onto and pulled off of the male. He thrashed around in the hold, cursing and shouting at Ken that was holding him down. 

"YOU USED HIM AS FUCKING BAIT! ARE YOU GOING TO DO THAT TO ME NEXT?! BECAUSE OF MY FUCKING TEMPER?! GOING TO USE YOUR OWN DAUGHTER NEXT?!" Katsuki shouted, before he yelled loudly and simply gave up all movement, slumping down as tears started to for in his eyes. 

"y-you promised- I heard you! you said you would do anything to protect him..." Katsuki craoked out, before he looked up at the male that was back up on his feet. Even if he could feel his tears running down his cheeks, Katsuki wanted Shimano to see how much he loathed the male in front of him. 

"and your here, standing in front of me with no serious injuries and telling me that Deku's dead. telling me that you did everything you could and then STAND HERE LIKE HE'S NOTHING!!!" Katsuki seethed in pure hatred, his voice cracking before he roughly pulled himself out of ken's grip and throwing the blonde a glare before he scoffed and walked away. 

Katsuki crashed down onto his mattress and faced the wall as he pulled the covers all the way up but instead of getting time for himself, he felt the mattress dip behind him.

"If your asking for an apology, he's not getting one since he doesn't give a shit about anything" Katsuki said, swallowing down the lump on his throat as he spoke since he knew that it was his mother that was there beside him.

"Of course he cares, Katsuki... We all do but don't blame other people" Mitsukis voice called from above him before he felt a hand on his shoulder. Katsuki didn't say anything else since he knew that she was right but that didn't stop him from thinking that it was Shimano's fault. He wanted to put the blame on someone that was alive rather than a dead body. And how could he possibly blame Izuku? He was new to this new world. Yes, izuku had the skill, the determination, the ability to shoot, he could stitch up a wound, he could fix the lights, but he has never done any of those things outside. He's never killed anything, he's never dealt with a serious injury, he's never seen different batteries or engines because he was always inside, where it was safe.

But, Izuku didn't want that. He didn't want to stay inside and continue with the same routine and the blonde could see it. He saw the way he looked when he was alone and undisturbed, after a story had been told, when he was making food. He always looked sad and miserable and Katsuki didn't blame him because he felt the same way before he stepped outside. So why should he blame him now?

But he was sure that if he ever found Izuku still breathing and alive out there, then he was going to make sure Izuku has his wrath.

Everyday Katsuki waited in front of the door or everytime he passed by it, he would glance over it until it became a routine for him. He would go out every time they needed more supplies and he would search for any clues like footsteps, familiar clothes, and even bullet shells but always came back empty handed. He would also be fixated on the radio to see that maybe izuku was found and had taken him in but every time his name slipped out of his mouth, he was denied ever hearing that name. If not the radio, it was cooking, if not then he would sit and read the same book over and over again to distract himself from his thoughts. And they always consisted of izuku.

He would find himself folding Izuku's clothes when Mahoro started wearing them and then just stare at the piece of cloth for a while like it had an answer. It happened way too many times and no matter what he did, he was always reminded of Izuku from the moment he woke up until he went to bed and sometimes he would haunt his dreams. It was different without him but at the same time, nothing changed. It was a weird feeling and it was killing Katsuki inside with the confusing feelings. He missed him. He did and he could admit that but he also hated him. However, no matter what, he never gave up his search. He didn't know why he was so obsessed over it but there was something inside that told him that Izuku was still out there.

Weeks turned into months, and months turned into years, yet, there was no sign of izuku anywhere and katsuki was just about ready to give up and really start accepting izuku's disappearance.

"You comin'?" Katsumas voice called over towards Katsuki as he stood where the hatch was. Katsuki sighed as he looked over towards the sunset, the orange colors looking especially beautiful today.

"Yeah" with that, Katsuki went back down the hatch to greet his awaiting mother, bearlily hearing the distant gunshot that came from miles away.