Darkest Just Before The Dawn

Chapter 7: Jaded

"Shepherd, Lamson, what's your 20? I need status on that gunfire," I say through the radio, while riding my stationary bike.

Beth is also in my office. I have her doing Noah's old ward duties, straightening up my desk and files.

"Do you copy? Licari, do you copy? Does anybody copy? Damn," I continue through the radio.

I want to know what that gunshot was all about. Something doesn't seem right out there. I quietly sent Licari to tail Shepherd and Lamson, just in case. Some of the officers like to ignore my calls over the radio, but Bob and Shepherd usually answer me.

"Something wrong?" Beth asks.

"They don't always radio back, and it drives me crazy," I lie to Beth.

I don't know what's happening out there but I have to play it cool. I don't want to cause a panic in here.

Beth picks up my picture of Hanson off of the floor and begins to put it on my desk.

"Wait. No, no, no. Beth, no, not there," I cut in.

I can't look at that picture all day on my desk. It reminds me of what I had to do to keep these people here safe. Beth looks at me awaiting instructions.

"Up by the badges. Thank you," I finish.

It used to just be Hanson's badge up there, but I've since added Gorman's and Jeffries'. They are the only officers we've lost under my command.

"Is this Captain Hanson?" Beth inquires.

I guess she's heard about Hanson from someone already. The story could be really different from what actually happened, depending on who she heard it from.

"Did someone say something about him to you?" I wonder.

"Just that he used to be in charge," she informs me.

"Well, you'll hear stories about him. About me. About what I did. He was my mentor. My friend. I miss him. That's the part the stories leave out," I explain.

"What happened to him?" Beth follows up.

Maybe she doesn't know. I'm still not sure that she fully trusts me yet, and I don't like reliving the events of that day, so I decide not to tell her what I had to do. I step off of my bike and walk over to Beth.

"They risk their lives every time they go out there. It has to be worth it. It has to matter. He lost sight of that. So he lost them. Beth, in this job you don't need their love, but you have to have their respect. Otherwise, the day is gonna come when you need backup and you don't have it," I cryptically answer her.

"And what comes next?" I ask myself out loud.

"Everybody goes down. Hanson lost his way. That's what happened," I tell Beth.

"I'm going to the cafeteria to get some water. You want anything?" I offer.

"No thanks," she answers.

I leave my office and walk briskly down the halls to the cafeteria on the other side of the building. Once there, I take a bottle of water and start heading back to my office. As I get closer to the hallway that leads around to my office I can hear shouting, behind the closed double doors. It sounds like O'Donnell.

"No, Percy, tell me. Should I use smaller words? Is the directive fix the hole in my sleeve too complicated for you?" O'Donnell berates Percy.

Percy is O'Donnell's ward. He's an elderly man who's been here since the beginning. In fact, he's the only patient that was here before all of this started. We found him in his room during our final sweep of the hospital after the city was bombed. Appearantly he was using the restroom the first time we checked his room, so he was never evacuated.