You Think You Know Everything About Me

I cant

I can't do this. Live in this house. With her. Everyday I'm broken down. She doesn't stop. Her sons an adult now. He can't hurt me anymore. She can though. Why couldn't the pills work? Or the knives to my skin? I'm suffering. I've been months clean on cutting. But now..... It does t seem worth it. Nothing does. I'm done for. Living here. Breathing. Functioning. I can't do it. If there is a God why does he put me through this? To make me stronger? To prepare me for what's to come? No. Anything would be better than this. Maybe tonight. The pills will decide to work. Maybe I'll finally be put out of my misery. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Why can't it just be a yes?