Brush Strokes ✓

22.

"No," the woman said, turning her attention back to the painting in blue.

"You have the potential to be honest. I like the technique you used and the overall theme but if you wanna be out there," she continued, turning to face Aera again, "you have to do better. I'm sure your paintings tonight are going to get sold out, but it won't get you on the front page of a magazine."

~~~

"I feel so restless, Taehyung. I don't know what to do. I can't get her words out of my head," Aera spoke on her phone, petting Mel who sat comfortably beside her on the bed. "I just don't know what to do..."

Taehyung felt the strong urge to drop everything and go meet her and reassure her but as of now, it wasn't possible. He could only comfort her with his words.

"Hey, it's okay," he started in a low voice, thinking it came out soothing. "You will get many remarks like that. I remember being called not good when we first debuted but we rose above that. Critisism gets you higher, so don't be discouraged."

Aera sighed. "I'm not discouraged. I just don't know what I must to do in order to get famous."

"I don't think you should be approaching it this way," Taehyung replied, making Aera frown. "Fame isn't everything. It is dangerous and you can get fame through easy ways too but it won't be because your art is exceptional. Our songs are personal to us and we wish to give people positivity through them, something to say, they are not alone in this. What do you wish to convey through your art? Why aren't you letting your inner self flow through your brush? What is holding you back?"

His words made her stop petting the cat. It made Mel let out a discontented purr but it had no effect on Aera. She was stuck in her own head, in the past that had started to get harder to recall and yet, still extremely vivid.

Memories are like a trap. Either you get lost in them forever, forgetting the present or they start becoming blurry as you carry on with your life. Some memories stayed forever, some, like the warmth of a mother's touch, disappeared with new people entering your life.

"You are right," she said, sliding down her bed and staring at the empty space beside her. "I have been looking at it the wrong way this whole time. I have been trying to portray what people feel instead of what I feel but I'm afraid," she admitted, begrudgingly.

"Afraid of what?"

"Afraid of confronting my emotions," she said. "I'm afraid of letting other people see those emotions and make opinions about me. I-I'm not the happy, cheerful person I pretend to be, Taehyung. It's just a mask to have a semblance of a normal life."

"No one is happy all the time, Aera," Taehyung tried countering. "Everyone has a little bit of darkness in them, a little sadness, anger, resentment. Some people can hide them well while some can't. We are human because of these emotions."

His words seemed to have no effect on her way of thinking, maybe a little, but not whole because he didn't know her past that well. However, his words seemed to lift a heavy weight from over her heart, his words made her smile since her encounter with the lady at the exhibition.

"Ah, Taehyung, I really wish you were here," she said, pulling the pillow closer, hugging it. She heard him chuckle on the other end and sheets rustling as if he was shifting in his bed as well.

"I wish I was there too, for moral support, you know? What are you up to tomorrow?" Although he didn't know why he asked that question, considering he wouldn't be in Korea tomorrow by any chance, he immediately regretted asking it.

"It's Saturday and Doyun has the day off. He is taking me out on a date," she answered nonchalantly. She hadn't been in the mood to negotiate earlier and hence, when Doyun asked her out, she agreed, despite not feeling upto it.

Taehyung's heart dropped along with his smile. From her tone, he couldn't really judge if she was excited about it or not but if she did accept, then it meant his chances to develop his relationship with her were even less.

"Do you really like him that much?" he couldn't stop himself from asking. He just didn't want to play this game of being friends anymore but if he said anything, he was afraid, he'd lose her completely.

He heard her sigh again. "I don't know," she replied, sounding aggravated. "I honestly don't know anything right now. I'm so confused all the time. I like him, he's a good man but I also don't find the spark that my mom always talked about. Not that the spark work out any good for her. I just want to have a good, healthy relationship and ugh!"

Taehyung's eyes widened as he heard a muffled scream from the other end. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked, concerned if he had said anything wrong.

"I'm sorry for that, Tae. I'm just really tired of people asking me if I really like him again and again when I'm trying to figure out my own life and feelings. I have a lot on my mind right now apart from finding a boyfriend. I think... I think I should go to sleep now." Taehyung could imagine her closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. She did that whenever she got worked up and he decided to end the call there.

"You should tell her, you know?" Taehyung's head whipped towards his hotel room door. There stood Jimin in his pajamas, fully prepared to call it a night.

Taehyung ran a hand through his hair, staring at the ceiling. "What if she runs away? What if she doesn't like me romantically?" he asked the burning questions in his mind.

"What if she stays?" Jimin countered, climbing beside Taehyung and shutting off the lights. "I have a feeling she won't reject you. It is as clear as day to everyone that you two have a special bond. But not as special as ours." Taehyung chuckled at his friends words, thinking over them through the night.

Maybe he should go for it and deal with the aftermath rather than regret not saying anything ever.

~~~~
A/N:

I've been wanting to write a scene for the above art illustration since a long time but when the time actually came, I couldn't. Man, writing phone conversations is hard.

I hope you are taking care of yourself. Drink lots of water and eat well.

Thank you for reading!!